Hear Kim share her story of life and healing after pregnancy from rape.
Transcript:
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Kim Elliot
Well, thank you for joining the pro life team. My name is Kim Elliott. I chose life after rape, and I encourage you to join in and listen and and get to understand and know the beauty of becoming a champion for a life you did not ask for and definitely weren’t expecting.
Jacob Barr
Welcome to the pro life team podcast. I’m Jacob Barr, and I’m here with Kim Elliott. Yeah. Kim, would you share, the beginning of your pro life story? And, yeah, let us get started on getting to know who you are and what pro life work you’re connected to.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. I I appreciate it, Jacob. I’m so glad to, be on the same team with you. I, was around 26 years old. I was still saving myself, for love in marriage. And so I grew up, fascinated with the, princess stories and expecting a prince charming, and so I was waiting for love, when I had a very gross interruption of a rape that had happened. A girlfriend and I were visiting, Memphis, Tennessee, actually, and, one of the waiters had put, a pill in my drink and then took advantage of that.
So, I was a virgin, so the experience was, even more violating than expected, of course. My girlfriend drove me home. We were, living in Illinois at the time, and I remember just pressing my face up against the ice cold window, just asking God, don’t let me hate men, because I heard that was the one thing that really affects a person’s life when a violation like that happens. I’d always been, pro life, always considered any other choices for abortion, to be wrong. But once I personally found myself caught in that trap, it’d be about another thirty days where I’d see a positive pregnancy test and, terrified and frightened about what I was supposed to do about the pregnancy, what I would do about the rest of my life. And so I went ahead and did the thing I never thought I would do and actually said I would never do, and I did schedule an abortion. A few days after that, I was just feeling the weight of everything that had happened.
And it was, I told my mom, and just kind of watched her brace herself knowing that her heart was breaking, but trying to be strong for me at the same time. She had my dad come home early the next day so that we could talk as a family about what had happened. And as I was discussing what had happened and my plans to fix it, it was actually my dad who interrupted the conversation, and he said, Kim, abortion is murder, and we don’t do that. And I’ll tell you, Jacob, that that one statement did two powerful things for me. First of all, it reminded me of my previous convictions that abortion really was wrong. But the second thing it did for me was it helped me to see that I was no longer alone now in my circumstances. I wasn’t gonna be alone in the decisions moving forward.
So at that point, I did choose life. I canceled the abortion appointment and, started to look into adoption. And, and and so that’s kind of where it started. So that’s where it started. You let me know how much farther you
Jacob Barr
can go. Yeah. Go ahead and keep going and yeah. Tell us, yeah, how the story continues.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. We, we had gone through that was actually my first visit to a crisis pregnancy center. They were actually kinda new. This was back in the nineties, so there wasn’t a lot of them, but my town did have one, very discreet, no billboards, no signs, just a quiet little storefront office. And, the sweetest lady met me at the door and sat me down, and I told her that, you know, I had already chosen life. I was considering adoption, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do with me because it appeared as though she wasn’t used to that, that people would be, you know, moving forward with life and looking into adoption. So she was able to give me a file of families, and everybody sounded great, which actually made it a very hard decision again to try to figure out who is going to raise this baby, who’s my first baby, and that was actually the family that I chose.
I went through, the pregnancy. I finally had my daughter and got to see her for the first time, and she was absolutely beautiful. And the adoptive family did come to town, absolutely beautiful. And the adoptive family did come to town, and I did hand the baby over to the adoptive family. In the state of Illinois, there is seventy two hours before the family can leave the state and that the adoption is signed. But, I went home while they went to the hotel room, and it was really I still don’t have a word for that experience. It’s this in between experience of, going through this traumatic event, having a baby, placing the baby in somebody else’s arms and coming home with nothing as if nothing had ever happened.
I recall a time walking into Walgreens, on our way home, and the girl at the counter asking me, so how’s your day going? And I was like, you just have no idea what has just happened the last nine months. Not that I expected her to, but it was a very, bizarre place to be in your thoughts. And, went home, and just kinda found myself kinda zoning out a lot that first day and then that night just not being able to sleep. And I think that I was really just trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life because I didn’t get my life back after I placed my baby. It it there was the truth was I wasn’t gonna be able to get it back. I was only gonna get it redeemed.
At that point, I had learned that my mom was in the next room, in her room with my dad, and she was praying. And she was just crying out to the Lord saying that she really wanted to
Speaker 3
go get that baby back. And the Lord did speak to her heart through prayer, and
Kim Elliot
he said, you know, she’s still yours. So she came in the next morning, and she told me that if I were to change my mind, that she would stay home and watch the baby while I worked. And it just opened another door of possibility. So my dad opened the first door to life. Adoption seemed to be the route, and I think it really bought me a lot of time to catch up with what happened. But by the time my mom walks in, she opens up another door of possibility. And the first thing I did was call a really close friend who was a single mom of twin boys, and I thought there can’t be any more of a challenge than twin boys who are two years old.
So tell me everything hard about being a single parent. And there was nothing that she could say to change my mind. So, my brother had just moved out two weeks before. My parents still had my baby bed from when I was little, and we did a makeshift nursery in our home. And, I went to go retrieve my daughter, and I brought her home, and I just have not had a regret since.
Jacob Barr
Wow.
Kim Elliot
Yeah.
Jacob Barr
So so yeah. So with you sharing this story, well, here and I’m sharing it before, where do you see God’s fingerprints? Or where do you, you know, where what are the where where are God’s fingerprints in this story, and how did God answer prayer, as you in in your story?
Kim Elliot
You know, I think that, initially, it was just a prayer of help. And he was bringing that through relationship with my parents. And then he was bringing it through relationships at church, of which I was not involved with at the time. But in a crisis like this, I can recall the, reviewing adoptive parents and my heart just longing for this baby to make make sure that she knows Jesus. Where can I place her in a home where she’s gonna come to know Jesus for herself? And that was the first time that I realized what I was encountering was something that I also wanted other people to encounter starting with my daughter. That was one of the fingerprints that happened.
The option to actually get my life back because I thought that’s what I wanted. So for those twenty four hours, I was back where I started, and I was not the same person. I was somebody’s mom. So it was a completely different experience. So I think even in that, in God’s providence, and that was this space of time for me to catch up, with what I really wanted. And then the very fact that he was answering prayers, he answered it for my mother. When I did change my mind, I had no idea how many people had been praying around us, hoping and praying that I would change my mind.
So there was a celebration happening around me. And you just don’t know. This would be early nineties exactly where everybody’s minds are in that kind of circumstance and situation. And so my church that I ended up going to actually questioned whether they should throw a baby shower or not. And, that was one of the God fingerprints too where it’s like, no. She chose life. We’re gonna celebrate the choice.
We’re gonna celebrate the life. And And from that point forward, they were extended family to the two of us as I raised her. So those are that’s more than a fingerprint. I call those big arms.
Jacob Barr
Yeah. Oh, that’s that’s good.
Speaker 3
Yeah.
Jacob Barr
So would you recount your story, but with a unique layer? Would you list out the things that you’re grateful for that you experienced in your story. So maybe just like almost like a bullet point list of things that you are thankful for as you think through things.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. So thankful for the truth that abortion is murder. So thankful that my dad told me the truth. So thankful that my parents supported me in the decisions. I mean, it was just as hard for them, honestly, as it was for me because I was their baby, and I’m walking through this. So incredibly grateful for every compassionate face that I met, friends that would come out of the woodwork and support, and and for God to be answering all those prayers. And then once becoming her mom, finding that support through the church, just so grateful for a church that, not only embraced my choice, but now embraced a lifestyle that that actually needed them probably more than your normal family.
Grateful for all of those things. And then in addition, watching her grow up and, getting married herself, and now she’s provided, the the joy times three of three grandsons. So, the list goes on and on and on. I could probably take an hour looking. No.
Jacob Barr
That’s good.
Kim Elliot
All the incredible things.
Jacob Barr
And there’s the, the verse, about, you know, whenever there’s an you know, to not have anxiety and to with, thankfulness to be you know, to prayer or lift your petitions. And, so I think it’s really good just to, you know, list out I I find listing out the things the things that I’m thankful for can help. It pairs really well with high anxiety stories
Kim Elliot
Sure.
Jacob Barr
As a way of, you know, pairing well with prayer. And so how might you encourage a PHC, oops, since I can’t make my phone off. I’m sorry. Let me just here we go. What, how might you encourage a PHC director, a PHC clinic director in 2025? Mhmm. What are your thoughts are about encouraging like, what would you like to say to a PHC director somewhere in the country working to help women today just like you were helped, in the nineties?
Kim Elliot
Yeah. I I think they’re doing a fantastic job, first of all. I’d let them know kudos to them. And, I I know that the pressure’s a lot. And I believe they probably completely understand the reward to life. The, the biggest thing, which I understand is a lot of the reasons why women will choose abortion in any circumstances because they’re alone. And I I would want for them to know the, the pricelessness of them coming alongside women and men, as partners in the process of the pregnancy, as partners in growing in life skills in learning parenting.
I know that the work that the, pregnancy centers do is very extensive these days. And that partnership is, it is it’s priceless. And I would just want them to know, you know, there’s great, great, great value beyond, you know, then they could probably understand. One of the things I did, last it was it was about a a year and a half ago. I actually wrote my story out into a book called Choosing Life After Rape. And, I did it for three reasons. I wanted my grandsons to know, why they’re so valuable to me in that choice.
I also wanted pregnancy centers to have a resource. And so I did a GoFundMe, raised a lot of money so that I could get books out to the state of Illinois and the state of Tennessee. All the directors got one, for the new year, last year so that they would have that story. I had a director email me, about nine months ago. She had just got done reading my book, which I made it super short. So girls that are in an unplanned pregnancy have a quick, quick read. And she read the book, and the next day, a young woman who had been raped and found herself pregnant had come to the center, and the director had handed her my book.
And she said the next day after reading the book, that girl decided to choose life. So it’s so vitally important, to come alongside them and, let them think out loud and let them process. I know I believe those directors are very brave to go ahead and let those those people have those thoughts out loud about what’s going on for them.
Jacob Barr
That’s good. So there’s this gentleman by the name of Stephen Finn who I’ve shared an Airbnb with at many CareNet conferences and heartbeat conferences. And his story is that he would his mom or he was conceived when his mom was raped.
Kim Elliot
Right.
Jacob Barr
And it’s a very powerful story.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. I know Stevenson. We are both, ambassador speakers.
Jacob Barr
Oh, weird.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. We’re on the same team.
Jacob Barr
Oh, very good. Very good.
So well and so I just wanted to say, when it comes to, you know, a child being conceived out of rape, what is something that you want p a you know, leadership, pro life leadership, pranccentric central leadership to hear that might not be commonly known or understood? Like, what’s something that is that you would like to be you know, the the the amplify? What’s something out of that Yeah. In this scenario for them to hear?
Kim Elliot
Yeah. I think, I I think that the and I’ll and I’ll I’ll back this up. There’s a study, that I, came across on Students for Life. The Elliott Elliott Institute had done a study, which I’m not related to, by the way. But they had done a study of, women who had conceived, through rape. And this was new to me, very surprising, that seventy percent of these women, choose life. I thought was astounding.
As much as it is an argument, to keep abortion legal, the truth was seventy percent of these women chose life. And out of the women who didn’t, I think it was like fifty fifty percent of them regretted it. Every woman who chose life, zero regrets. Zero regrets. So I believe that the conclusion for me on that is that identifying with the innocence of the baby also helps make an identification to the mother. I it’s how I looked at my daughter. I was innocent, and so was she.
There’s three people involved in this circumstance, and it’s the rapist who’s a criminal and deserves the punishment. And that baby is just as innocent of that crime as I was. So rather than looking at her as though I needed to defend my life from her life, The reality was I needed to turn around and become a champion of her life and and and rescue, to the greatest of my ability. So I believe that when you when you start talking about the innocence of that baby, it changes a lot of things.
Jacob Barr
Wow. What has it been like to be an, a speaker on the ambassador team? Like, what’s that been like, and how long have you have you been an ambassador speaker?
Kim Elliot
Yeah. I just got hired well, hired signed on.
Jacob Barr
Okay.
Kim Elliot
About, about six months ago, so I’m just now starting to get traction. I was actually at the CareNet, conference in Denver. So were you there for that one?
Jacob Barr
Yes. Yep. I was at that one too. Yeah.
Kim Elliot
So that was my first opportunity, to have directors come into the room and and, we did like a showcase, so everybody got about five minutes to share their story. And, and so I think that especially in this time frame now that Roe v Wade has turned over, the the, the objection the most common objection is, well, what about in the case of rape, incest, and the life of the mother? That I get to be that answer. And so the dates are starting to pick up starting in April, and I’ve got some coming up in September. But I was able to just as that was happening, my pastor had me present to the church, and it was incredible to see the response of, women who’ve had sexual assault, women, single moms, coming forward, finding themselves free, more free than they were before, encountering healing through the story. It’s just been a remarkable response and which I am so, so grateful for. So I am looking forward to, getting more opportunities lined up on my calendar, to tell that story.
Jacob Barr
Well, that makes yeah. And and and based on Roe versus Wade being overturned, you’re right. The the fight over abortion in the case of rape is almost unchanged because of how that’s often treated like an exception.
Kim Elliot
Yes.
Jacob Barr
And how life is different in that scenario and it’s but life is life, and it’s not different. You’re right. Yes. And it’s it’s innocent life. Mhmm. That’s really good to point out.
Kim Elliot
Yeah. Yeah.
Jacob Barr
What resources are available for for women or for pregnancy centers to refer to for women who, you know, are pregnant out of you know, based on a rape scenario? What resources are available in that in that case?
Kim Elliot
In the case of rape, is that what you’re asking? Or
Jacob Barr
Yeah. So, like, let’s say, a precinct center has a someone comes in to their doors and that person experienced rape. You know, what resources are available to offer or to refer to in that scenario? Like, what what might be unique about that situation, you know, when it comes to needing help?
Kim Elliot
The the violation would be where the help is needed. I think the pregnancy centers are definitely taking care of, the pregnancy part of it and helping them make that decision. But it’s the sexual assault that would need to be addressed, that I think, you know, I would love and I know that some pregnancy centers get ahead of this too. We as a society, the church, if we could work even harder on the worth of a woman, they might be less likely to find themselves in unplanned pregnancies. And in the case of rape, it would be about restoring that worth of the woman. And so I would love to see those things, implemented more, but definitely getting them in touch with, professionals, counselors that understand how to help these women heal from a sexual assault. I know for me, I got an opportunity to interview with White Rose resistance a couple weeks ago, and he’d asked me about my healing process.
And I said, you know, I never had a healing moment where it was all taken care of. I actually entered into a healing relationship with Jesus. And so I find that that is that’s the key answer is to come into a relationship with Christ and allow his love to now, you know, overcome the assault and grow in that is is the best healing I know.
Jacob Barr
Wow. That’s good.
So the enemy likes to well, the enemy likes to whisper or have you hear false beliefs or lies repeatedly. Throughout this experience, what false belief did you get to expose as being false, whether about yourself, about others, or about God? And then, you know, based on this really you know, based on the rape or this negative, very difficult event, what false belief was overcome?
Kim Elliot
Yeah. That, I think one of the things is and and this would be one of the arguments out there is that I would look at my daughter and be retraumatized every time I saw her or thought about her as though the rape would happen all over again. And when, again, you establish the innocence and find out that I’m that that we’re the same when it comes to the crime. We’re just
Speaker 3
as
Kim Elliot
innocent that, it was never ever ever true. And I think because I started from that place of innocence, I never had a traumatic experience in relationship with my daughter. She was always a joy. The fact that the stigma might work on her was something that I was very careful of in helping her to understand that her worth and her value was not related to the violation at all, that she was actually a rewarding consequence of my choice. And so I always was able to make that separation happen. And and, she actually grew up with so much self worth. It’s hilarious.
I don’t know how it happened. I’m like, you did way better than I did. But, to the point that we giggled it, we call her my trophy daughter because I made the choice for life that that’s it’s a celebration. And I’ll tell you too, Jacob, that the healing, has been so complete that I literally had to because I wanted to remember when my daughter came to Earth, when she came to be. I wanted to remember her conception that I had to count back to the days where I saw it happen because it was an Easter weekend. That’s all I could remember was an Easter weekend. Of course, the date changes all the time. Okay. But I put the reminder in my phone because I don’t have a traumatic remembrance or experience anymore when Easter comes around.
I have a remembrance of a rewarding consequence of choosing life. That’s how complete the healing can be.
Jacob Barr
Wow. That’s so beautiful. I yeah. You’re it feels like you have so much truth and goodness that you’re pulling from. Yeah. Wow. So what, let me think.
What is have you when it comes to these these, ambassador events and you go and speak, at a conference, what’s some of the I mean, not a conference, at a at a pro at a gala or some kind of event. A banquet. Yeah. Yeah. What’s, when when people talk to you afterwards, if you heard people that have said, I’ve gone through this and I’m you know, I need to you know, did you help spur people towards seeking healing
Kim Elliot
Yes.
Jacob Barr
Based on okay. Yes. Yes.
Speaker 3
Will you
Jacob Barr
talk about that for a little bit?
Kim Elliot
Mhmm. Yes. So I, I have had people approach me ex you know, and letting me know. And sometimes it’s the first time they’ve ever revealed it, and it’s such a tender, tender, tender moment. And, to be able to I think that if they are able to see, the healing in front of them, which is my own experience, that that encourages the hope to go ahead and let me know. Voice that out loud. And, I had a woman approach me once and said that, you know, it she she’s sorry that she’s crying, because she thought she was over it.
And I thought how it’s okay to cry because that’s the value that was lost is worth the tears. It doesn’t mean you haven’t been healed. And, so there is a lot of opportunities to speak to healing, to speak to the pace of healing. It doesn’t happen in an instant. Like I explained, it’s in a relationship with Jesus. You give it to him, and he’s gonna pace that out for you in a way that you can you can actually walk through it and and receive well. Another, response that I get that I appreciate so much is that for the first time, people feel like they have a real, real story to tell as they’re going back to their jobs or back to their schools, back into their communities when they get into a conversation about the objections.
And so when that objection comes up, everybody’s sympathy fills in and they’re like, yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know what to say about that. But when they hear my story, they feel like they’re equipped. That they’re like, hey. I heard this story. I read this book.
There is there is victory here. There’s life here, and it’s rewarding. And, so that’s been a real blessing as well to get that kind of response.
Jacob Barr
Wow. It it feels like what you’re empowering people to do is to rewrite their narrative. Rewrite the narrative from a shame voice into a voice of,
Kim Elliot
Of being a champion.
Jacob Barr
A champion’s voice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That I think and then that’s that’s huge. Like, it’s literally just flipping the narrative with, like, putting your eyes on Jesus instead of your eyes on, you know, the ground.
Kim Elliot
Yes. Yes. A %. Yes. That’s fun.
Jacob Barr
Wow. That is. Yeah. You’re encouraging people to lift up their eyes and and find find Jesus to replace the shame. Mhmm. That’s really that’s rich. Yeah. Well, so before we close in prayer, I’m gonna I’ll ask you to pray at the end. Yeah. What what’s some final thoughts you’d like to share with those who are listening, that I didn’t ask you about?
Kim Elliot
You know, I I was thinking the other day how rewarding, my life has been even though it started at such a disadvantage. And single parenting is not an easy thing to do. So the dependence on other people in the church was always there. The love story that I had hoped for, I still got. And that nothing once it’s once it’s given to God, he turns it all the way around, and it becomes such a source of life to other people, a real source of courage to other people. And these grandkids are just I I didn’t know what a sweet reward that would be. I definitely wasn’t thinking about grandchildren when I was choosing life.
But now that I have them, I just can’t get enough of them, and it’s it’s an incredible place to be. So no there’s there does not have to be an ounce of regret when you choose life after rape, not an ounce.
Jacob Barr
Wow. How cool. Your story is, like, literally a story of, yeah, choosing to become a champion and and gives people hope to find healing on their in their own story.
Kim Elliot
Yes.
Jacob Barr
That’s that’s exciting.
Kim Elliot
Yes.
Jacob Barr
Well, thank you so much, Kim, for, yeah, for being on this podcast. Would you, wrap it wrap up our podcast with a prayer with the expectation that those who are listening will participate in the prayer as they’re listening?
Kim Elliot
Yes. Father, I just wanna thank you so much. First of all, thank you for Jacob and the work that he’s doing, the fight, that that he stepped into. It’s so great to meet another, member of the team. And thank you for the audience who listens in, eager to hear, to know, and to understand how to be equipped for this narrative as Jacob said. I am asking for your spirit of wisdom, revelation, knowledge, and insight to rest upon every director, upon every listener to get a glimpse of the champion story, the healing story. The truth is that when we are choosing life, you yourself said you are the life.
When we are choosing life, we are choosing you. We are choosing your ways. And I ask that you would just assure every listener that you will meet every single need in word and deed. Amen.