The ProLife Team Podcast 107 | Cindy Collins & Jacob Barr | Voices of Healing: A Turnaround

The ProLife Team Podcast
The ProLife Team Podcast 107 | Cindy Collins & Jacob Barr | Voices of Healing: A Turnaround
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Jacob Barr discusses with Cindy Collins her transformative journey from personal abortion experience to leading pro-life advocacy through Operation Outcry, impacting legal cases like Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization.

Summary

This is Jacob Barr, and in this podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Cindy Collins, a remarkable individual with a deeply personal story related to abortion and healing. Cindy shared her journey, which began with her own experience of abortion at 19, leading to years of emotional and spiritual turmoil. She spoke about how she found redemption and healing through faith and has since dedicated over 35 years to pro-life ministry. Cindy’s work involves supporting women who have undergone abortions and raising awareness about the impact of abortion on women’s lives.

She discussed her involvement with Operation Outcry, an initiative gathering testimonies from women harmed by abortion to influence legal proceedings and legislative processes. Cindy’s testimony, along with thousands of others, played a crucial role in legal cases, including the landmark Dobbs case, which led to the overturning of Roe v. Wade in 2022.

Cindy’s story is a testament to the power of personal narratives in shaping public policy and societal views. Her courage in sharing her experience and her commitment to helping others find healing and redemption is truly inspirational.

Relevant hashtags for this content include: #ProLife, #HealingFromAbortion, #OperationOutcry, #AbortionTestimonies, #PersonalRedemption, #FaithJourney, #WomenEmpowerment, #LifeAfterAbortion, #LegalImpact, #DobbsCase.

Transcript

The transcript was automatically generated and may contain errors.

Cindy Collins :

Welcome. This is Cindy Collins, and today I’m with Jacob and we are talking today on the pro-life Podcast about abortion, healing from abortion, my personal story and testimony, and a way that your voice and your story can turn this nation around from death to life. And we want you to listen there’s information on the podcast and a website at operationoutcry.org where you can get involved.

Jacob Barr :

So Cindy, I’m excited to have you on the pro-life Team Podcast. Would you introduce yourself as if you were talking to a group of Prancy clinic leadership teams or executive directors of Prancy clinics?

Cindy Collins :

Ok, well, my name is Cindy or Cynthia Collins and just want to make sure I’m looking at the camera correctly am I looking at you? I.

Jacob Barr :

Want to make sure? Yeah, you look good yeah, looking right there is fine.

Cindy Collins :

Ok, good. My name is Cindy or Cynthia Collins, and I am, first of all, a woman. And I do have abortion in my past. And that happened when I was 19 years of age through a referral, Planned Parenthood. And during that time of devastation in my life, I went through a lot of hardship and background and I can just tell you that the Lord has turned that all around. I’ve been working in pro-life ministry for over 35 years. I started a pregnancy center in our local community, and from that have gone on to help thousands of women both in Louisiana, our nation and globally, and then have taken and expanded that into helping women who have been sexually exploited and trafficked. So there’s a lot to my story, but it’s all been centered on how the Lord redeems our testimony and our story and those dark places of our life. And it’s really centered on women and rescuing and speaking life into this chosen generation. So that’s everything that I do is now really about speaking life into women and restoration and also speaking life into this chosen generation that just happens to begin in the womb. So that’s sort of it in a nutshell, Jacob.

Jacob Barr :

Ok, yeah, So tell us about Operation Outcry. Tell us, you know, what is that and what would prank the clinic directors or leadership teams? You know what should they know about what Operation Outcry is doing or has done?

Cindy Collins :

I’m going to tell you a little bit of my story of how I got involved first so that if a pregnancy center director is listening like I was as a pregnancy center director back in 2004 you can see that not only possibly you’re being called to be a part of operation not cry and your voice being heard in a new way, but those that you serve also is women who have abortion in their past. And I call a woman abortion in her past rather than a post abort of woman because I feel she’s a woman 1st and that is just abortion’s just part of her past. What happened with Operation Outcry was that I was sharing my story about the harm of abortion locally and even at state legislators and I knew that God wanted to use it in a larger way so Alan Parker of the Justice Foundation was coming to New Orleans with a group of women from Operation Outcry this was back in 2004 in a team of lawyers at the fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. Because they were they had taken Norma Mccorby’s case to overturn Roe versus Wade she was filing a Rule 60 motion and it was going to be heard at the at the fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. And normal wanted, who was the original Roe of Roe V Wade wanted Roe overturned. And what Alan Parker was doing with the Justice Foundation was starting to gather testimonies of women who had been harmed, harmed by abortion. And these were legal testimonies and they were generally 1 to 2 pages and it could be legally introduced into this court case and other court cases for the future. So I went and to find out what it was all about. I again, I had been serving in pro-life ministry since 1985 and this was 2004 So I felt that God was calling me to speak in a greater way about my own personal story, that women who had been hurt by abortion. Their stories needed to be heard and our voices need to be heard. And so I went ahead and I became a part of Operation Outcry from Louisiana. And I actually asked Alan. I told him I’d be praying for a Louisiana leader. He said, well, I think I’ve found her and I’m looking at her. So I immediately got recruited because many women were feeling that they wanted to speak, but that there might be criticism, they might be mocked, there might be people that misunderstood. And so I went ahead and I joined Operation Outcry and at that time we were beginning to go in teams Jacob of sharing a 2 minute testimony before legislators, churches, community groups. And we would grow go in groups that from three to maybe 10 to 20 women just but just with a 2 minute testimony. And so people were beginning to understand the horror of abortion and what it had been doing to women and how women had been forced they had misunderstood, you know, a lot of different things that were going on and didn’t really were not fully informed about the abortion procedures and the devastation and that there was no doctor patient relationship, you know, all of those lies. And so our voices began to be heard so Operation Outcry gathered. The women, through the Justice Foundation, being our legal representative, gathered about 5000 over five thousand, testimonies declarations or affidavits. Those have been used like in Louisiana. We use them on the state level. I would go ahead and share my brief testimony with legislators they had never heard that before and that gave courage to others to step forward. And then those legal declaration declarations were then entered into the legislative process and then also into the judicial process. They were entered in not only to the Louisiana case, which was the admitting privileges law at the Supreme Court, but also they were entered into the Dobbs case, which overturned Roe V Wade at the court in 2022 so Operation outcry.org is the website and it’s just very important I’ll say this for all of us, no matter what type of injustice it is, that our voices not be silent and we especially have courage in this hour to speak up. So there’s many women i’m just one of them with Operation Outcry and just enclosing on that portion is that the websites Operation outcry.org There’s declarations that can be signed online. There’s also how you can become involved and there are resources for healing. We’re really big on healing and making sure the layers of abortion trauma are healed in women and men.

Jacob Barr :

Awesome wow thank you so much for well sharing that and also being a part of those testimonies. What has it been like to be part of those testimonies submitted to the Supreme Court and the legislature? Have you gotten questions from either a judge or a legislator as a response of them having access to these 5000 testimonies has anyone reached out to you or what has that experience been like and also, what’s it feel like to be part of the overturning of Roe is having your voice in that monumental, amazing experience of Roe being overturned?

Cindy Collins :

Thanks. Thank you for asking because that, you know, back in 2004 I just felt like there was something bigger that is a Christian that God wanted and something larger and I really wanted to do all that I could that was it i wanted to do all that I could as an individual and as a Christian. And so when I started to testify before the legislature, there were not many women doing that. But I became part of a team, a legislative team, and my portion was to tell the truth through my personal story. And what I found was many legislators, like I said, they didn’t know. They had only been hearing, hearing the side of the abortion industry. And the different lies of this is between a woman and her doctor when I would say there was no doctor patient relationship, I never saw the doctor before the abortion i never saw the doctor after the abortion i don’t even know if it was a doctor. It was just a man with a mask on his face. And so then, as I consistently would go to our legislature, our legislators and legislature, I saw some that were they call themselves pro-choice their hearts began to change. And then some had even confided privately, excuse me, that they had abortion in their past, either paid for an abortion or taken friends to the abortion facility and they did not know. And there was 1 legislator that actually wept in committee when he was talking about this because the impact of the personal testimony, again it stirs something in the heart. And then back in 2006 it was right after Hurricane Katrina, we had a very brave legislator, Senator Ben Nevers, that he was approached about passing a law that whenever when Roe was overturned, it would be a post Roe activation law. And everybody said, how can you do this when there’s been such devastation from Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana and we were affected all so we were homeless for about 10 months and we really saw that this was an opportunity to go ahead and bring this legislation forward so I went up and shared my story i went to Baton Rouge, shared my story again, that law passed. There was no rape exception in it. We wanted a pure law as it was prior to Roe V Wade. And everybody said robe will never be overturned. That was back in 2006 and in 2022 we know differently that, you know, God had a plan way back when. And so all I knew that Jacob I needed to do was just be obedient to what I felt God was telling me to do. And even if I wouldn’t see it in my lifetime, I might, my children might see it in their lifetime. And so I can tell you that the day that we got the news that Rogue was overturned, I was in our parking lot outside of our office, and I just wept. Because it’s was all a matter of being obedient, having courage, being willing to share, you know, parts of our past and walking through healing. And with me it was the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and then trusting God that it was for his plan. And there were many people that were affected along the way because I was able to share my story and so were other women of operation not cry along the way so that women would know the truth about the lie of abortion. And so it really being a part of something larger than myself and knowing how God can take that very darkest part of our life, you know, step by step to use it for his good has been very amazing. It’s been very, I’m very thankful that I was chosen to be used in this so very thankful.

Jacob Barr :

Awesome. Thank you for sharing and just speaking on well all of your experience, Would it be possible for you to find a copy of your testimony that you submitted and read it allowed here? Would that or is that something you would have access to where you are or?

Cindy Collins :

You know I do. But it is. You know what? I might have it. Hold on one second and let me look.

Jacob Barr :

Yeah, I’ll take your time. I’m thinking that might be really nice just to reflect on what you wrote in that original. Yeah, What you wrote back then and you said it was in 2020 or what year was it that you wrote this?

Cindy Collins :

The 2000 2004 but I have part of it.

Jacob Barr :

Ok.

Cindy Collins :

And but it’s been a part of Operation Outcry. It’s been a part of Operation Outcry since 2004 but I can read you what I wrote and this is from a little book it’s called Radiant Hope and this has I wrote this is part of my story and there’s a lot of encouragement we give one of these to women in our that come in for help in our office of both the Pregnancy Help Center and Speak Hope And then, and this is not a plug for my book because we give these no, not at.

Jacob Barr :

All no.

Cindy Collins :

It’s and it’s.

Jacob Barr :

Good to share resources when it comes to authentic plug when it comes to something you’re using regularly, it’s good to share and for it to be what it is.

Cindy Collins :

Thank you i appreciate that and then this is redemptive beauty and this has the layers of healing in it. And actually there’s a free downloadable copy that I’ll send you the link to it, so anybody can download it but let me go ahead and read. I’ll read part of.

Jacob Barr :

This thank you.

Cindy Collins :

As a college student, I had become pregnant at age 19 went to a place seeking help and was advised to have an abortion, and that place was Planned Parenthood. I was told my baby was not alive and was just a clump of cells. I felt afraid, alone, fearful. A lot of the same unhealed emotions I experienced throughout my young life. Instead of choosing to give birth, to choose life, I chose abortion. I believed a lie that I could go on with my life. This choice compounded every lie I had believed and left a deep pain within my soul and spirit, as if death had entered my soul that day. An unending, deep grief and pain. And to deny the regret now needing to be stuffed down with the other layers of pain. But this pain was self-inflicted because I had been sexually abused as a child and many of those choices had been against me. But this choice was one that produced the pain that was self-inflicted I realized what I was told about abortion and what I believed was not true. Within weeks, I began to regret the choice of abortion, ending college anesthetizing, the pain with alcohol, drugs, abusive relationships, pain stuffed deep and masked, and destructive behaviors. One night I cried out to Jesus for help. I cried from the heart, All of my feelings from my heart and my sorrow from my soul. I called upon Jesus name Jesus help me. Please forgive me. I asked Jesus to change my life, to forgive me, to teach me and to heal the wounds of my heart from the inside out. Jesus heard my cry. The cry from my heart has turned into a relationship with Jesus, bringing peace over my soul in healing to my heart. And that’s part of my story, that the healing that the Lord’s provided and it has been layers and layers of healing because what I feel like what happened with me with abortion, it’s the only time where the spirit of death enters a woman’s body because she’s agreeing as her child is being murdered or she’s being forced as her child is being murdered. And listen, it was really hard for me to say those words and saying the words murder for years. And the Lord had to do a lot of healing because we can’t go against we can try, but we can’t go against as a woman, how we’re made to nurture and to love and to protect our children. I was reflecting today, Jacob, you know, way back then, back in 1973 when I had my first abortion i haven’t had, I’ve had multiple abortions since that time. I wondered, you know, it times have changed back then, we didn’t know fetal development, we didn’t have ultrasound you know, it was becoming legal and Planned Parenthood was still telling the lie. And I felt like we were sort of that first group of Guinea pigs that they had have to see how this lie would work amongst women. But I did know in my heart that I was doing something wrong and I’d had a positive pregnancy test, went to Washington, DC in 19. It was January of 1973 And when I had that abortion in that Planned Parenthood facility, I was never the same. And it took probably about two weeks i ended the relationship with my boyfriend. I ended up just really stuffing the pain with alcohol a lot and then? I quit school i finished that semester, but I never went back to school because the depression and it was really a self-destructive lifestyle and I was not like that prior, you know, I just was trying to end that pain and that story I’ve heard repeated in my office, I’m not the only one. And that anesthetizing of pain can be through alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, continual destructive relationships, lifestyles, busying ourselves with job, you know, just being distracted from the pain that’s in the heart. So, and statistics show I’m not the only one with repeat abortions, but we have a real problem in America with many women in my generation and this generation needing healing from abortion in their past. And that’s another thing that Operation outcry does is partner with those that bring healing and it’s not just for women, you know, It’s also for men it’s our whole nation. And just an aside, you know, people ask what’s wrong with our nation well, abortion’s been wrong with our nation and it’s been over 50 years with been killing our children, you know. And so. But i feel like now’s the time for our voices to be heard to be brave to join in and to speak out and also to speak out healing to, you know, speak our story so I’m very thankful for you allowing, hearing, listening, and letting my voice be heard.

Jacob Barr :

So from a place of being healed or when it comes to being healed, would you say that you’ve been completely healed or is it more of a journey or does it does it you know, is it, does it ebb and flow or how? What’s your experience when it comes to, you know, feeling like you’re healed. And also can you speak to like how did God provide that healing or how did you know what he tell us more about that experience.

Cindy Collins :

Well, you know, I’ve heard different people say, oh, I’m totally healed. And i my answer to that or just comment to that is, well, what I’ve found is that I’ve been healed in layers. And it really hit me that I was being healed in layers when I was standing at one of my daughter’s weddings and it was out in this beautiful field and they got married at a, like, you know, little farm winery setting, saying and it was just so beautiful. And I was standing there and the thought was I will never see the children that I aborted get married. And there I was. You know, i hadn’t thought of that before, but it was right there at that wedding. And I had to compose myself nobody would have known, you know, the mixed emotions of crying. But then I had to after the wedding was over, I had to have some time just to myself to just process and take that to the Lord. That was a layer of healing that needed to be dealt with. That sort of, like you said, ebbed and flowed. But it started with, it was earlier on in my walk with the Lord and I had miscarried i was, excuse me, married and I had miscarried and actually my baby had died in the womb from lack of, from the scarring that was in my uterus from abortion. And so I just began to weep because I realized that what I had done, it cost, cost another life. And so I was actually up for about 5 days and I took that word of God, that scripture, and just really began to apply it to my heart and I repented i went, I knew that the Lord forgave me, but I needed to just vote, verbalize it with him and spend some time with him and just keep on applying that word because you know, Satan will continue he’s an accuser he will continue to keep on accusing us, accusing us. And I just kept on saying no. God’s word says I’ve told him so he’s forgiven me and so he’s in. He’s cleansing me of all of that sin he’s cleansed me of all of that sin. I kept on thinking about it and then I started to walk the process out jacob and I just took the word of God. That’s all I need to do and I took it’s real. It was simple, and it’s long for me is Romans 8-1 says. When we are well, there’s no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. And I knew, you know, I had confessed to the Lord so that condemnation was not from the Lord it was the enemy trying to destroy me again he first goes after the baby, and then he goes after the woman, you know. And then Second Corinthians five seventeen. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation the old has passed away the new has come and in the South passed away means you’re dead. So I knew that the old person, the old Cindy was in Christ was gone and so I needed to trust God with the healing he wanted to do with my heart. And so I began to walk a healing journey and I had been rendered infertile because of the abortions and after the miscarriage, I was told I would not be able to have any children. God had another plan. He did heal me. And I became pregnant with our son John, and ended up staying in bed with him for five months. And then after that, three years later, I became pregnant with twins and Sarah and Rachel. And I was in bed with them for about seven months. And so, you know, i am very thankful for the redemption of the Lord. Ok so from that I felt like God was telling me that not it wasn’t a matter of trying to do good works and beginning a pregnancy center, but it was a matter of his redemption. He was going to use what the enemy meant for evil, for good so we started a pregnancy center and then as I said, another ministry called speak hope. So the healing process, I just encourage anybody that has abortion in their past. And if you feel like you’ve gone through a major healing like I did, but there’s still some lingering things, you know, sometimes those old wounds, whether it’s our hip, our knees, whatever it is, they need some care. And so if you’re feeling some of these things even during this interview or even from the legislative cases, Dobbs being overturned or what you’re hearing about the chemical abortion pills, I encourage you as a Christian to take some time with the Lord and ask him what’s going on in your heart write it down like I have. Weep if you need to listen to worship music, look at the word of God, talk to somebody else and allow the Lord to heal you more. And if you haven’t done that at all and you don’t know the Lord, I encourage you just to talk to Jesus and let him speak to your heart. And he’s the healer. I know it to be true. So it’s a journey, Jacob that’s my short answer and I know I’ll be fully healed when I get to heaven. I’m looking forward.

Jacob Barr :

And then, and I really want to say thank you for sharing and, you know, sharing your story. And one of the verses that I often quote on this podcast is James five, sixteen which is therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed in the prayers of a righteous person. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. And so i would just ask those who are listening, who are prayerful and talk to God regularly, just to. Yeah to pray for people, including Cindy with her, you know, sharing her story here to pray for her, as well as pray for other people who share their stories. Because that’s what James five sixteen says, is that we should tell each other what we’ve done and to ask for prayer and to pray and I think really the person to share that with is someone who is, who is willing, you know, who is someone who prays. I believe that’s my understanding of verse 16, is that it’s a person who prays and a person who, you know, you would be who would be considered righteous or close to God and that’s the person you should ask for prayer from, which is often maybe the elders at a church or a pastor yeah, please.

Cindy Collins :

Yeah, i you know, you and I were talking before about being authentic and I believe the Lord’s looking for authentic Christianity. You know, I look forward to the day where we can freely share our testament, our stories in the body, you know, and people are listening and weeping together and then they’re rejoicing, you know, for what the Lord has done. And yes, I agree with you. I believe. I so appreciate you, ’cause I can feel the authenticity of the Lord. You know, the days that you know Jesus with was with the disciples and, you know, being real with each other, we need to be transparent. And I agree with you to. I pray that everybody that’s watching this, that they have someone that they can’t speak to and share their bare heart with. And Jacob, i want to offer offer, brother that you know if they don’t, I’m available. And I know others like you and I that are available too. Thank you.

Jacob Barr :

Yeah, and I, and I am I. From my personal experience, when someone else shares and confesses it essentially it sets, it sort of changes the mood of the room or invites people to follow in that same process of you know, dropping shame and sharing in a way that they can also experience the benefits of confessing to another person. And because I do believe you know so yeah like the Bible talks about you know repenting and it but it also talks about how to be healed from the damage done And so there’s a lot of different like you said there’s layers there’s layers to this experience and it’s a spiritual warfare where the where Satan and the enemy is looking to silence and destroy his opposition or yeah and so when it comes to this experience of sharing your story when it comes to being you know impacting our country honestly being part of this group who has impacted our country. What would you encourage those who are listening like the, you know, pricey clinic leadership teams would you How would you encourage them to maybe join in this effort today or in the future? Is Operation Out Christ still accepting new testimony is to be recorded and collected.

Cindy Collins :

Yes. In fact, we’re having a meeting today with some of the leadership about this we want to increase the amount of testimonies that we have. We have 5000 we want it. We’re hoping to gather 10.000 thousand testimonies and because the pain of abortion has not changed but now the different strategies that the enemy has, the opposition has are with chemical abortions so we have more of a generation of young women that are getting these appeals without any type of medical advice and whether it be through the mail online, from a different nation or whatever. And the harm that is happening is it’s horror is what it is so yes, and that’s through contact and we really want to hear the voices or receive the testimonies. And it can be done confidentially through the website anonymously even through the website at operation outcry dot org and look for the tab that says submit a declaration or an affidavit. And if you have any questions about that, you can also email X J F dot org X J F dot org. You can also send an email about that and they can also put you in contact with me. So with pregnancy center directors, you may be maybe yourself, maybe your staff and if you have an abortion recovery group, we want to encourage you at the end of that time of healing, whether it be a four week, six week, 10 week Bible study or recovery group to offer that as a part of redemption of completing one of those affidavits. It’s also downloadable from the website you can print it out and encourage each woman that is an opportunity of redemption and also of what had been so painful in her life for the Lord to use it for his good. Because I have personally seen those testimonies and the impact that they’re they’ve had on our nation. You know, Jacob, one of our key scriptures is Revelation 1211 We overcome the evil 1 by the blood of the Lamb, the word of our testimony. And we love not our lives, even unto death. And I’ve seen, you know, over the past 19 years now that I’ve been a part of Operation Outcry, how consistently those testimonies have been like a stone in David’s sling to hit Goliath and bring Goliath down. And it’s the unlikely, you know, women’s who have been so wounded, our voices, he’s taken us before state legislators, before Senate committees. We did a time in speaking an interview in the White House many years ago and into different nations including Israel and Portugal, the Netherlands, India, different areas where they were even thinking about making abortion legal or they just needed help bringing other women out. Who from those nations could begin to speak. So I just want to back up and say I just really want to encourage pregnancy center directors or anybody that’s in the pro-life movement to really ask we need your voices right now. And they need our especially, our nation really needs to hear the voices of women who have been hurt by abortion.

Jacob Barr :

So when it comes to the stories that have been shared, or at least your own story, actually, let’s start with your story first. In what ways would you summarize how you were hurt by abortion like, for example, would it be spiritually, emotionally, physically and through relationships, at least? It sounds like it’s probably all of those things, but how would you classify the different areas.

Cindy Collins :

Yeah and when we like, even like when we write our stories out to speak, there’s help with that on how to put it down to get how to put it all together. I mean it was, you know, I could write 10 pages, we bring it down into a front and back 8 and a half by eleven sheet. But what I do is I start out by, you know, a little bit of how things were before I had a board, an abortion like I was a 19 year old college student, but it has and then the abortion procedure or now there’s chemical abortion, that there was really no doctor patient relationship. And then what happened to me during the abortion procedure, which, you know, I share this publicly, and I share this in the Louisiana case, during the admitting privileges case where they were requiring or wanting doctors to have admitting privileges? That it’s hard to say, but parts of my baby were left inside of me because of the negligence of this person who called himself a doctor and told me to get out of his office when I had been harmed. And I hear that over and over again with other women, but they’re so shamed to ask for help. You know, like I was. I ended up in an emergency room. It caused physical damage, scarring in my uterus and women are often shamed who have been hurt by abortion and silenced to get help. There are women that have died from abortion my, you know, my personal story is not only the physical parts of what have happened, but the emotional parts of going into depression and how it also effects our relationships. Women that I’ve counseled, it’s affected their relationships with their living children. It’s affected their marriages of and them not understanding that it goes back to the root as abortion. There may be anger of lingering depression at a certain time of year of deep regret and shame. And so that’s how it was with me and even AI call it a deterrence from destiny that a woman does not feel that she has that worth and value because she has done such. She knows it’s her secret, it’s a silent secret and she feels she deserves to be punished. And so there’s all different things that the enemy tries to do and that’s why we just really encourage, if anybody is carrying abortion, you know, in any pain from abortion, there’s help that’s available and there’s people that don’t understand like me. You know, lastly in that Jacob too is because the word of God is really Who healed me is God just told me to keep on reading and applying. Psalm 34 verses four and five says I cried to the Lord he heard my cry. Those who look to him will be radiant with joy. No shadow of shame will darken their face and see i had a lot of shame it was like, well, Umbrella, you know, that was over me and it was affecting all my relationships and even jobs. I didn’t feel that I was worthy. And so when I took that word, I was able to identify that God wanted to lift that shame, you know, off me too so yeah, there’s all different aspects of those layers that we talked about and there’s help, you know, that’s available. And I feel like what you’re doing, pregnancy centers, pro-life movement needs to really identify this more with our nation, but then look beyond it. I want to tell you that there’s women in Operation outcry that they’ve run for office molly White, who’s a former legislator in the House of Representatives in Texas. Louena Stoltenberg is currently a member of the House of Representatives in Iowa. And so, you know, there’s hope. You know, hope and redemption after abortion.

Jacob Barr :

That makes a lot of sense and my goal with that question was to capture, yeah, this like essentially to summarize your pain in suffering from abortion. And to invite those who have had abortion to consider this the range of damage done and to, well, to consider sharing their story in a way that will, yeah, help turn, help continue to turn this around when it comes to, you know, our country’s culture of life and a culture of death, turning it towards life and turning it towards good things.

Cindy Collins :

And that and that, and that’s what will happen is we share our story and there’s a community of believers that sadly have been hurt by abortion, but we’re not lingering in our pain. You know, we’re looking at seeing how this can we have victory over this past and our sin and we’re using it to end this atrocity. And so as the woman is sharing her story and there’s all different aspects, like you said, there’s spiritual, there’s physical, there’s emotional and there’s damage that is done and that lingers and it’s affected over into your generation and how a woman raises her own children. And so there’s a real motivation for healing and then motivation for our voices to be heard and for it to be used for good. That’s end to end, like you said, turn things around in our nation. I really believe that revival can come out of this. What was really meant to take the lives of your generation as we join together in generations that God can use this to bring about revival in our nation, revival and healing in Jesus name.

Jacob Barr :

So when you wrote, when you shared this story, was it like an affidavit where it was in order to be admissible to a court or to legislation was that like, was it essentially like something where you had to like, you know, sign like underoath that this is my story and this is true? Was that the type of submission that you did?

Cindy Collins :

What happened is that on the declaration form, it’s a legal declaration form, which is different from me writing my testimony that I would speak out and in public. And So what happens there’s a series of questions that are asked on that declaration form and then we and we put on there how abortion hurt us. There’s a part on there that you can actually type in how it hurt you and there’s enough room there to go ahead and put down both physically, emotionally, spiritually, how it hurt in relationships, whatever, depression, guilt, you know, all of those things. In fact, the Supreme Court during Gonzalez versus Carhartt attested to that the Supreme, one of the Supreme Court members said basically the devastation that’s notable, the devastation that abortion has caused to women, not in those words, but it has been now recognized even by the Supreme Court. So these testimonies, when they’re legally put together, then she, the woman would attest to it. She will go ahead she online you can actually type your signature in there if it’s a if you have a hard copy that’s downloadable, downloadable, you can mail it into the Justice Foundation the address is on the website also and then that becomes a legal form and you can also have your name redacted, which means your name covered. If you don’t want that your name to be public, that can be done also. So it’s very easy to fill out and I want to tell you, the Justice Foundations considers each one of these very important it’s not taken lightly and we often know that those are filled out and completed and signed with tears, but they have great impact and that one, what that one testimony actually can be the testimony that is like David’s stone, you know, in a sling. Just say this, Jacob, because I’ll tell you that personally, like in the Louisiana case, I had shared my story at the Louisiana legislature. It was, back in 2016 a personal harm of abortion, as I shared earlier of parts of my baby being left inside and that there was need for physicians to have admitting privileges to hospitals. It was a 3 minute test, verbal testimony, and then I submitted the written testimony to them that went, that passed the legislature, Louisiana legislature passed that it became law. But then it was Planned Parenthood came against it ended up at the fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, which is a federal curtain court in New Orleans. They referred to my testimony in that and that there were sentences, words taken from what I had said in the legislative body. And then from that it went up to the Supreme Court it was heard by the Supreme Court again referred to my testimony in there. And so that’s just what I’m saying for whoever’s listening, there’s a reason why you’re listening and if you have abortion in your past, you need to fill out one of those declarations.

Jacob Barr :

Wow, it just sounds like you know this. You know your story. Just a matter of gravity that surrounds your story based on it impacting your state, impacting our country, impacting these governing bodies and also at the same time it impacted you by sharing your story in a. So can you talk about the first time you shared your story with someone else like what would did you experience a floodgate of emotions at that time and then what was it like when you submitted your story through this as a legal document? Like what was the emotional, how did you respond both the first time you shared and then also with the, yeah, writing it down and submitting as a legal document what, you know, describe the emotions you experienced during those. And also just that, yeah, the healing or the relationship, the spiritual impact that it had.

Cindy Collins :

Well, today, the first time that I shared my story was that it was with my pastor and it was after I had miscarried and I just wept i mean, I just wept and wept and wept and he didn’t know. He did not know the impact of abortion on a woman. He didn’t know my story i was actually, I’d been in Louisiana for about maybe six months at that time. And he was, he was very shocked and surprised he was sitting across his desk and I just wept and wept and then, you know, like I said, he wept with me not knowing. And what was important was that I was not turned away and there weren’t just trite comments that were being made. He listened and it was with compassion. And I felt when I shared such a burden off of my shoulders that I could release what was getting out of my heart i felt like i was getting help. And so that was really the first step and that I was not being condemned and he didn’t know all the words to say. He just knew that first John 1-9 he knew the scripture that I was confessing and Jesus is faithful, you know, and he forgives us and so and he prayed with me and that was very important and then at that time there weren’t abortion healing studies like forgiven and set free, which is a great study online that you can get on i think Amazon has copies of it, but it’s full of scripture. It was started by Linda Cochran back in the nineteen eighties. So I just really, I took the Bible, I took the word of God. And then from that what happened was that was like a first step. And then there was somebody that was very close to me in our family that had called. And I was at work one day and she was 19 years old and she said that she was pregnant and that her mom wanted her to have an abortion. And I said, you don’t have to marry the baby’s father, but you can’t have an abortion i want to see you tonight. And so I shared my story with her and she had no idea. And now her child is almost 40 years old. And she loves her child and she loves her grandchildren, you know, also. So that was the first impact that I had of the power of sharing my own personal testimony with somebody else that didn’t know. And then when I started speaking publicly, I felt like my motivation was that people needed to know. And there were women that came up afterward that told me their story. And then also they were released just like I was the pain was beginning to be released, that they weren’t alone. And then when I felt filled out the declaration, which I think I’m answering all your questions, Jacob so correct me if I’m not, But I also felt like that was another release, that this was going to be used by God in a powerful way. And that I was part of a group of women that were, we were all feeling the same thing of what had happened to us, but that we wanted to use what we had done and what had happened and lay down our lives like Revelation twelve, eleven says love, not our lives even unto death. To use this if at all possible, to end the atrocity of abortion and the killing of children and also what was happening to women just didn’t know. And also that the our world, our nation needed to know also so i completed it was I took time and I cried when I completed it and then I signed my name because there was still parts of my heart that, you know, a mom loves her children, no matter whether they are here or in heaven. And so I just offered that up really as a prayer to the Lord in the redemption of what had been done and for the life of my children that are in heaven. So those are all the parts but the outcome is, let me just tell you that when you courageously move towards healing and then you begin to share your testimony 1 by 1 or it’s been before governments like I have, you will receive more healing each time that you do. And you will and you will know that somewhere along the line what those words that you’re saying are going to be used to affect someone else’s heart. And like with Operation, Outcry has affected our nation and overturned Roe V Wade.

Jacob Barr :

Wow your story is it’s full of encouragement. It’s full of God’s fingerprints it’s full of really it’s I feel like there’s a there’s a there’s a call a call to action here for people who have experienced the pain of abortion to participate in writing their story in this way to impact our country as a group. And I really like the way you postured that when you said courageously moving toward Towards Healing. Yeah I feel like that sounds like that’s where you are today you’re courageous, you know, and courageously embracing the healing that you have received and continuing to receive i feel like healing, Yeah i feel like the relationship with Jesus is an ongoing the relationship with Jesus is definitely an ongoing process and I feel like and you know, seeking is there a reason why God calls us to pray all the time and it’s because we’re supposed to be mindful and connected and being, you know, and prayerful and just in our regular thoughts and I think that’s so important when it comes to like having a posture of Being healed or Towards healing it’s just that praying recordly throughout the day. Would you. Would you do the. Yeah would you, with the consideration that those who are listening would participate with crying out to God would you pray here at the end of this podcast in a way that yeah, essentially it will, It will last those who are listening to, yeah, if they would join in your prayer. And I’d like to have you pray based on where we are today and looking forward yeah essentially the way you would normally pray and you know for you know towards with our hope and call to God to end abortion and end this. End this in our lifetimes and to continue to make yeah draw, drawing our neighbors towards life and Jesus.

Cindy Collins :

Amen thank you, Jacob it’s been it’s really an honor i feel like we’re having fellowship with each other on this plot it is good on this podcast i want to say this too, as, you know, part of what God took me through i looked back at people like Mary Magdalene, David and Bathsheba. And then I also looked at Paul when he said he was the greatest, you know, of sinners and he had written so much of into the New Testament and but he had a thorn in the flesh. You know also that there are others of us that we can look back through scriptures. You know, we’re not the only ones of how God redeems and how we must press forward and yes, I do want to pray because I feel like God is calling us in a greater way to lay down our lives and our identity should always be in Jesus Christ and intimacy with him. There’s a chemical abortion case and I want to pray forward that’s it just came through the fifth Circuit in May and it was headed towards the Supreme Court. And the Lord can use this to really crush abortion completely I believe. And that’s why I’m feeling and you’re feeling a need for more voices who have been harmed by abortion especially to speak out and this is an opportunity and we here to need to hear the Lord’s cry so let me just go ahead and pray with you and Father. I just thank you Lord, for this time together and for all those that are listening and watching lord, it’s not a coincidence you’ve called all of us Lord. But this is a very important podcast Father and Lord. First of all, I ask Lord, for those that are listening, Father, that have been feeling that there’s something missing and they know that it is abortion in their past, Father, that they would come to you, Lord, they would look at the scriptures first john 1-9 Romans 8, one, Second Corinthians five seventeen you would lead them to your word, Lord that would just completely bring these layers of healing father in Jesus name and Father, I pray Lord, for those especially that are in pro-life ministry, Father that are used as places of healing and places of life. Father that they begin to be the gatherers of the voice of the voices lord and these legal declarations lord, that we could we could come together armed with truth father in these testimonies like mighty arrows, Father, and like stones and David’s sling, Father to bring down the and crush. Father, the evil of abortion and especially this chemical abortion pill. Father, we thank you that it is your truth that sets the captive free And Father for every heart father that is bound in decision. Father, that they would choose life. And Father, that you would bring this time, Lord, and even this podcast and these testimonies lord, to bring truth to our nation lord, Father, there’s a greater ’cause that you have for this almost second drive of getting these voices out in Jesus name. And Father, I just call forth anyone who has been hurt by chemical abortion that you are not alone and that your tears have been seen, your voice has been heard by the Lord, and that now is the time for you to come forward and to receive the help that only Jesus can bring. Father, I just pray in Jesus name by your spirit, Father, that you pour out upon the hearts today, Father, and that there just be a mighty wave of your voices and a mighty wave of your heat of your healing father And we just thank you, Lord, We thank you, Father, in Jesus name. Amen