Listen to Denise Venturini-South and Jacob Barr talk about Denise’s journey to becomming prolife.
Summary of Episode:
Podcast Trasncript:
The transcript was automatically generated and may contain errors.
Jacob Barr :
Welcome to the pro-life Team Podcast. I’m Jacob Barr and I’m here with Denise. And in this podcast she’s going to share her story of going from being feeling like she was forced or having no choice maybe considered pro-choice but really feel like she had no choice when it came to abortion to her journey of being pro-life and and inviting others towards this road, towards healing and hope and really ultimately towards Jesus. So Denise, I’m excited to have you on the pro-life Team Podcast and today we have the you’re the First interview in this new series i’m hoping that we’re going to have a long set of these discussions of people who have gone from pro-choice to pro-life So, yeah, Would you briefly introduce yourself and then share? Yeah, let’s share. I’d like you to Share your story.
Denise Venturini-South :
Ok, Thank you. Thank you Jacob, for having me here. So my name is Denise Venturini South and I’m living currently in New Jersey. And yes, I have gone from pro-choice to pro-life although my journey started a very long time ago. It has taken, it has taken me many years and through many trials and tribulations to come to a place where I am able to share the journey with others. So I’m. I’m happy to be here and and hope to to share that yeah.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah so, so tell us where would you like to start would you like to start in the middle, like in the transition or would you like to start in the beginning when or you know, when you were pro-choice and or what triggered you to start the transition i guess maybe that’s a good question of, you know, what caused you to start looking at, yeah, this transition starting.
Denise Venturini-South :
I have to be honest with you i never really considered myself pro-choice My abortions were forced i would say I was coerced into having an abortion, but I also willingly did it no one tied me down. So that’s why I I feel I can i can say at one point I was pro-choice because I did allow myself to go through the experience. Although I didn’t want to, I I wanted to have my children. To answer your question, what was the pivotal point? It was just me saying no. It was just my desire to have my child, to see my child, you know, born and saying no to whatever pressure. Whatever circumstances I was going through, not to let the pressure of that determine the outcome of my pregnancy.
Jacob Barr :
So how would you describe your position of being, you know, maybe not for abortion, but being OK using it when you were cornered or feeling like you had no other choice how would you describe that that space?
Denise Venturini-South :
Very uninformed, very uninformed, Yeah looking back, looking back at my experiences and and I had three abortions. Looking back at my experiences, I was not informed of the process from the time of the initial consultation to the intake to the treatment room itself. I I I was not informed of of that. Either was I informed of the emotional and the emotional trauma that I would experience from the abortion i I had no idea about that so and unfortunately I I believe most women will end up in that position one day. The physical part of of the abortion. I think everyone can pretty much kind of assume what it will be like for the most part, although there are certain aspects of the abortion that until you’re experiencing it, you really have no idea what it’s going to do to you. Like the sound of the fetus going through the tube. Like the sound of hearing the heartbeat one second and not the next. And realizing that that was a living person a living, yeah. And not being able to do anything to stop it. But the emotional trauma is, is is an area that I I believe most women today do not think about until they’re there. And it you can never go back it’s it’s like trying to collect water that’s been poured out on sand. You can never get it back. And you know, that’s those feelings of regret, if not dealt with properly, can really ’cause some some damage.
Jacob Barr :
So I’m I’m thinking at this point we probably should pause for a moment and pray. And if you would, if you would do the honor of praying for us to, you know ask the right questions and have the right, you know way to summarize and describe this this experience. And then also if we could weave in a Bible verse that you know really speaks to you, I think that would just be this would be so would you lead us in prayer?
Denise Venturini-South :
Yes, I I would like to go get. Something can I just can you press pause? Was it all right?
Jacob Barr :
I can, yeah, that’s fine yeah, go ahead and go. I can edit edit it out, or I’ll leave it in and just let people feel awkward for us.
Denise Venturini-South :
I wanted to get my book.
Jacob Barr :
Because I I do have my book, OK?
Denise Venturini-South :
And I’m not using this as a platform to promote the book, but I just would like people to know that I’ve I’ve written a book about my experiences and if they would like to read it, they can but this is what I I have experienced in my life and it’s a journey that I’ve shared with you before on a different platform. But it’s very, very important to me that this message gets out.
Jacob Barr :
Because I, and it was called, many people will just listen, yeah.
Denise Venturini-South :
The book is called Restored to His glory.
Jacob Barr :
Awesome. Is there a passage in there that you’re looking for?
Denise Venturini-South :
There’s there’s a scripture verse, but I I will pray i will pray 1st and then and then I will go to the scripture verse so Father God, we just thank you for. Allowing us to be, to be a part of this today and to share this very important message. And Lord, I pray that you would give us the words, the right words, the words that you want us to say, that you want us to share. And I pray God that you would prepare the hearts of those that would hear this message today or any day in the future lord. And in anywhere in the world that you would prepare their hearts, that you would do whatever work is needed in their heart, that you would remove the veil from their eyes, and that you would help them to see that this is a living human being that you created from before the foundation of the world. And that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that you weaved us together in our mother’s womb. Lord, I pray that the truth of abortion would be told. And I thank you God for allowing me through my journey and my experiences to be a part of this work. May you be glorified. And we praise you in Jesus name. Amen amen. So there’s a verse of scripture in in Ephesians that I I have in the book and the verse of scripture is that we can that we. If I would have known this scripture, I may have thought twice about having having the abortion and. The scripture is that is that God is more than capable to do above and beyond all that we can ask and think. He is a He is able to do above and beyond all that we can ask and think. So when we are in a situation where we feel out of control, where we feel overwhelmed with the world. Its pressures, even if it’s not the world, if it’s a family member, if it’s a friend, if it’s a partner, a husband, a wife, a friend. If we just turn to God for one second, and to trust that he is more than able to do exceedingly above all that we can think and ask just for that one second, we might be encouraged, we might be strengthened, we might be given. Given the opportunity to make a different choice, I have to get my phone charger give me a second.
Jacob Barr :
Sorry no, that’s good. I tried to have your phone plugged in.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah for sure I I was expecting to use my computer but it didn’t work.
Jacob Barr :
So my computer.
Denise Venturini-South :
Charged but my phone isn’t so let me just plug and I will be right with you.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah one of one of the values at my church, which I completely adopt is the value of authenticity. And so yeah, yes, when a when a podcast has an awkward because we’re. Living in a world, Yeah, yeah, we’re.
Denise Venturini-South :
Living in a world of society, everybody tries to be perfect, and we’re not.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, you know, we make most valuable and we the most valuable coins are those with the problems or mistakes those are the those are the valuable ones everything, you know, if it’s perfect, that just means it’s normal so.
Denise Venturini-South :
And I I deliberately chose this cover.
Jacob Barr :
Your phone’s up. Your phone’s upside down we have to flip it over. No, that’s OK. There you go i deliver.
Denise Venturini-South :
This cover, if you can see the pot is, you know, cracked. And filled in with gold because that’s exactly what happens when we give it when we give our brokenness to God, he fills it in and he makes it so much better.
Jacob Barr :
So yeah, awesome. That makes sense yeah. So what else would you like to say about your story or what would you like to talk about when it comes to do you want to talk about where you are today? Do you want to talk about? Let me back up a step one of the things I’d like to accomplish with these stories would be to provide people who hear them a path to follow. So if you’re talking, you know, with someone who hears this, who may be feeling like they’re trapped and not necessarily pro-choice but willing to use it because they feel like they have no other choice, would you like to say to that person?
Denise Venturini-South :
There is a choice there is, there’s there is a choice and the choice, the choice is turning to God. Yes, the the choice is turning to God. But what I would like to do is I would like to speak truth about the abortion process because I have gone over that process probably 10.000 thousand times in my mind and I think if I had known it once. Before, I would have never done the abortion. I would, I would have never gone through with it if I knew what I what I have gone over in my mind. And I think it’s important for women and men who have experienced abortion or who are abortion minded, to hear the truth about what happens when you have an abortion, when you separate from your body, a living being. And then when you do it willingly, when you do it casually, as some women do it, it’s it’s not how we were designed. We were not designed to do this. We were designed as women to bear children that’s why we were born with a womb. And that womb is supposed to be a safe place. A place where the baby can grow until it’s mature and then be born. It’s not a place that was designed to corner a living human being, to be extracted, to be vacuumed, to be medically or surgically removed before it’s time. That is not what the womb was created for. Just like our fingers and toes and ears, they were all created with a specific purpose. We don’t. We don’t make our ears be our feet and we don’t make our fingers be our ears we don’t change that. But for some reason society has changed the use of the womb and and has actually violated the sanctity of the womb. By now using it as a place where you can corner and capture the baby and remove it and I think that that’s just a concept that people don’t think of. And also when our as women, our bodies, we have hormones, we have we are medically different and physiologically different than men. And we have hormones, and these hormones were were created specifically for us because we are women. And when we become pregnant, we have special hormones that are created because of the pregnancy. And these hormones tell us you’re a mother now. That’s why if we hear a baby cry, our breasts will maybe react in a certain way. Our heart may be more tender when we see an image of a baby because now we are mothers. Regardless of that, if that baby is born or not, we are still mothers we are still mothers. I counseled a young woman. She came to the she was a young girl i wouldn’t even she was a girl she was just barely 18. And she said, I I’m not ready to be a mother that’s why I want to have this abortion i’m not ready to be a mother. And I said, you’ll always be a mother. I said the difference is only your child will not be alive, but you’ll still be a mother, just like a mother is still a mother of a child that was miscarried. Or if there was a child that died in uterus for an illness or or an accident, you’re still a mother. It doesn’t change. And I think these are the truths that women need to hear. And if they hear it from a woman who has experienced abortion, who has experienced going through this, I I think it’s more genuine than just hearing it from someone who’s reading the information out of a book, out of a textbook.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, so wow. So what what was, What was the motivation? What was the motivating? Was it shame, or what was the motivation that pushed you to feel like you had no choice and what would you want to say in response to that at this time? My motivation to have the abortion, Yeah.
Denise Venturini-South :
My husband at the time did not want me to have, well, my no, my first abortion. It was actually my mother. My mother forced me to have the abortion. She did not want me to have the child with with the father that I was when she insisted, she made the appointment, She insisted that I have the abortion yeah. And although my relationship was not good with my mother, I, I, I did what she asked me to do.
Jacob Barr :
I think the there’s a legal group called the Justice Foundation and I I don’t know when they started, but they have written legal letters saying to like I believe a parent. You know you don’t have you know it’s it’s illegal to coerce your child into having an abortion. And of course many young people wouldn’t know that that exists but that’s one thing that’s been created correct. Yeah the the Justice Institute with Alan Parker. I think that’s what. So that’s something that yeah to mention that. Yeah the Justice Foundation, they have. They might have a certain ministry, but they have essentially several legal letters one’s meant for the boyfriend, one’s meant for probably the husband, one’s probably meant for the parent in these different situations essentially telling each of those people with a legal letter that you don’t have the right to coerce this young woman into having an abortion.
Denise Venturini-South :
I would love to be able to put their link on my website.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, the Justice foundation.org OK, I’m not sure where the letters are because he’s got several ministries, but they’re somehow tied to Alan Parker and the Justice Foundation’s his main organization yeah.
Denise Venturini-South :
Ok, Greg, I can reach out sure and see if I can get get the link into my website because I I never had any, I never had any guidance. As a matter of fact, it was. It was like a three ring circus literally in the emergency room. Which I was brought into the emergency room for abdominal pain from a hernia that I had and it was the doctor it was the nurse and it was my mother all three of them were just you have got to have the abortion you can’t have this baby, whatever, whatever and I wasn’t I was a healthy person. But it was it was a three ring circus and before I knew it I was I was I was in the the clinic in Manhattan.
Jacob Barr :
Ok so I just found it on the website. It’s it’s called CACAFA which is it stands for Center Against Forced Abortions. And yes, and essentially I’ll read a little bit from their website, women who are who first learn or suspect they are pregnant may feel pressured to an abortion including from the parent, the baby’s father, school counselor employer, etcetera. This is illegal. And then it goes on to talk more about this. And then they also, they have a letter to the student, They have a letter to the parent, the father. They have a letter for the police or government official. And since they identified different people who may be saying you must get an abortion, they even have a letter that can be sent, I believe, to the abortion clinic if they’re trying to pressure someone into it. But all that to say is this and if you ever, if someone ever needs a letter for a new situation, Alan Parker is amazing, kind and generous. And that’s what they’re they are built to help provide the letters that are needed to help provide someone with that legal protection yeah.
Denise Venturini-South :
That’s great. I will try to get that link on my website because I I’ve been, I’ve been corresponding with women through the website. So Yep. So the other the other abortions I had were with were with my second husband and I he I I was thrilled when I when I learned I was pregnant, I was thrilled and I went to him and I said, you know, I am pregnant and we’re going to have this baby and he went off the wall. He just was so angry and he was rude and he. I don’t want this i I don’t want to have a baby. He had a daughter already from another marriage that he was not in contact with and he just, you know, went on and on about that and he said I I’m not having this baby he says I’m going to leave. I’m going to get out of here if you’re going to have this baby. And and he didn’t even say that he just says I’m going to get out of here. And he said you just need to go have an abortion. And I was just, again, I was just devastated. I never expected that reaction. And so another very important element of knowledge for women that are in a position where they’re they may choose abortion. Is to know that they’re supported in their decision for life supported, supported, emotionally supported, financially supported, You know, in in every They need to know that there is a way to complete the pregnancy, even if even if the birth were to leave to adoption or or other ways. But they’re there. Support is needed and I I’m also the director for an organization here in New Jersey called Cape Hope and we provide services for all people that are experiencing homelessness. And we have a We developed a program specifically for homeless pregnant women and our hope is to give them the opportunity to choose life. Many of them are pro-choice But they are pro-choice because there is no support they have no support. They don’t know where to go they don’t know what to do and every door that’s opened is you. Well, I don’t want to say every door there are. There are two other agencies that provide assistance for homeless pregnant women’s but but it’s it’s difficult for them to navigate those. But every other opportunity is pro-choice So there are no other support systems and they just feel, well, there’s no, there’s no hope for me what am I going to do just have the baby and walk away and they they can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. So that’s where we, the church, need to come up alongside of them and provide these support services programs for these women. And I want to say they’re they’re. Baby’s father because many times they too will encourage the abortion because they don’t know the way out, they don’t know the path. So it’s there, take it and let’s move on. But my next point is you don’t move on. You never move on. Because as I said, we were created by God to be mothers. We were created, designed that way and although we may be able to forget mentally. We will never forget physiologically that we are mothers. Spiritually we we are always mothers and that will always be with us. And then when we come to that realization that we did what we did, it will be, it may be very difficult for you to move on from it. Unfortunately, I’ve spoken to. You know, several women that wanted to commit suicide i myself was at a 1 time where I was so distraught that I felt there was no other way and and then some but yeah, it’s just sooner or later you will, you will understand what you’ve done you will come to that place of understanding. Whether you’re 70 years old or 17 years old, you will come to that place.
Jacob Barr :
To understand what really happened and what you did, one one of the other things that this gentleman Alan Parker was a was a part of is called the Safe Haven and it essentially so in some. So if a if a homeless woman has a a child, you know an infant, one option that she has is to go to a fire station. I think most fire stations are safe haven locations and she can essentially you know release the release her child to a Firehouse or to a safe haven drop off area and the state will go and provide you know help with the the adoption or the foster services that are needed by you know working to find a family. And so that’s something that and it’s interesting that it’s all it’s in all 50 states but it’s not very well known and so safe haven is really I’ve never heard of it it’s like, yeah and it’s that’s why I wanted to share that so.
Denise Venturini-South :
Thank you.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah so since, yeah so if someone isn’t in a position to go through an adoption experience, Safe Haven is as easy as taking your newborn to a Firehouse and letting them releasing it to the Firehouse through a safe haven. We’re calling it. Yeah, it’s it’s a it’s a life giving, loving option when someone is at, you know, when they’re not capable of continuing.
Denise Venturini-South :
Ok. Well, that’s good to know. Thank you.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah yeah yeah so what else would you like? Yeah.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah, is is for women to know that once they come to the knowledge of of what? Has happened to them and to the baby. There are resources there to help and it’s important for women to get connected to these resources as soon as possible. And you know, I I try to connect women to resources, not only my own resources that I I provide or resources that I am affiliated with, but. Other resources that I am aware of. So what I would really, you know, love to see more of is, you know, Internet accessibility for women to to get these resources. I know not everyone, especially in rural areas or you know, low socioeconomic areas, that Internet access may not always be available so. You know, maybe having it in a hospital, maybe having a directory in a hospital, or having like a special computer in a setting like that where women can go on, go on the computer in privacy and look at all of the resources that are available to them. And also to have more ultrasound machines sent to different locations so women can hear. The baby’s heartbeat and know that this is a living human being.
Jacob Barr :
That’s good. That’s really good. And I know that many, many principle clinics are looking for ways to support women after they’ve, you know, have had the child there’s paternity homes where people can, if they need a place to stay, maybe they’re in that on the edge of being homeless or they are homeless paternity homes are a place for someone to go before they had the child and to provide, you know, and get care and help and then maybe even be able to stay for some amount of time after. And then I know many pricy clinics have parenting classes or different opportunities to to learn life skills. I was talking with someone this last week and she had an interest in creating a culinary arts class for moms who to help them cook on a budget and make it taste delicious that was her her vision. And so I was like that’s a great idea i wish. I wish we. I guess I I I encourage your go forward and tell others to do the same because that’s a really cool idea. So really. And I guess the motivation there would be you know for those who are listening you know if there’s something that you think would you know if you had the equivalent of the culinary arts education opportunity to help a young mom learn that. I mean how how awesome would it be to have your passion brought in a in a way that you could help people. And then you know in the way that you you have skills and knowledge and something that can be that can be shared. So that’s that would be my encouragement is to be creative with what you have and because personally I may not have the culinary arts but I might be able to bring something else to the table and and so sure and I do enjoy people that do have the culinary arts that’s that’s that’s wonderful. It’s nice to see when people know how to make things taste delicious.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
Jacob Barr :
So yeah so, Denise, what else should I ask you? Or what else would you like to talk about on on your story? Maybe would you like to talk about how you’ve seen God’s fingerprints in this story or how you have experienced maybe healing or recovery perhaps.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yes, absolutely. So for for a long time, I I I never, for over 20 years, 25 years probably i never spoke about my abortion, never to anyone, and it was never spoken about and it was. It was at a time when I I I was actually in church and I was visiting a friend upstate New York, and I was listening to the pastor, but God was interrupting and he was bringing me to the story in Genesis where he’s asking Isaac, He’s asking Abraham to offer Isaac. Not asking he’s telling him what to do, and I immediately sensed that God was calling me to do something, he said to me i have. I have a place that I want to bring you, but you can’t bring that with you. You cannot bring that with you. You cannot bring your past with you. Now, not only was God talking about the abortions, but he I’m also a victim of. Of sexual abuse as a child. So all and all of that I never spoke about to anyone. So he’s telling me all of this, I you can’t take it with you. And I immediately closed my Bible and I walked out the church and I said, no, I’m not going to do it because you want me to do this i have to tell my children. I would have to tell my children and then those, they were the first ones. That I thought about. I didn’t think about my reputation i didn’t think about my my employer i didn’t think about my family members i thought about my children, that I would not give them any more pain than what they were already experiencing in their lives. Being a single parent, having to raise them alone was very difficult not only for me, but for them and. And then again, God spoke to me and said, do you think if your children are hurt, do you think that I’m not able to heal them? And I just, I I had to stop and say no, you can’t heal them. And I I I realized that this was something that I needed to do. But it took me two years to get the strength, emotional strength, to do this. God gave me a good friend that was helping me along the journey. Little by little we peeled down the onion we peeled back the onion and and we were able to come to a place where I could organize my thoughts and I could organize a way to communicate those truths to my children. And I chose, I chose a place that we were all very comfortable with. And I I told my children everything and and I explained to them why I was telling them this. And I said, I don’t know what God has for me, but I I do know that this is what he wants me to do but I want you to be the first to know. And they embraced me. They loved me they they supported me. They were more concerned, you know, as to the pain and the damage that was done from keeping it in all those years than they were from me, you know, verbalizing it and and and telling them so my, my one daughter actually has a has a response in the book and she she talks about now reflecting on. Her past as a child, she remembers certain times where she would question why is Mommy so sad or why is Mommy being so distant or so cold and now she can understand the emotional disconnect because Mom was protecting herself mom was. Mom was protecting the pain that she had hidden for so long. And I I remember, you know, after talking with my children, I used to hang up a pink and blue ribbon on the Christmas tree every year but I would do it when the kids went to sleep. And I would just use that time as a as a time, you know, to say I I remember you and I love you all very much. And so the first Christmas that after I told them, we were able to hang up the ribbon together and that was beautiful.
Jacob Barr :
That was a beautiful time, Yeah, when you reflect on.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah, go ahead.
Jacob Barr :
So when you reflect on your well, where you are today, are you able, how, how are you able to serve out of your brokenness but like when it comes to that picture on the front of your book with the cracked pot and the filling of gold, how, how do you relate to that? You know, experience of being broken but yet being used as a vessel.
Denise Venturini-South :
Well, Jacob, all like it’s one word. It’s called It’s truth. I can impart truth. Truth about the situation, Truth about the experience truth about the procedure. Truth about the damage it does truth. It’s truth. It’s being. Because I’ve been there and I’ve been i can explain, I can. I can just share the truth. About it. And I think you know how that truth is received. No one can know. No one can know that’s up to the person on the other end of that truth. But I can, I can give them the truth. And I, you know, I pray that’s why this meeting between you and I right now is really an answer to my prayers, because I’ve been looking for various platforms, not to promote my book. This is God’s story in my life. You know, this is he should be getting all the glory that he’s got me to where I am today. You know, in this book I show him off how he’s taken me from that place to where I am today. But it’s to say that I’ve been there and I have this message that I want to share with you so that you have all the information that that I have to give you maybe it’s not all the information there is. But it’s all the information that I have that I’d like to share so yeah, it’s just imparting truth, I think.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, and I think these stories are are valuable because God gets the glory i mean, the reason why a person, a person has value is because they’re an image bearer of God. And these stories have value because they reflect where God is in someone’s journey and story. And I I’d like, I know I often say this verse, but at the same time it’s one of my favorites and so I don’t mind using it or saying it one more time. So James five sixteen. Confessing your sins one to another so you may be healed and the prayers of a righteous person avail with much. How does how is that how how have you experienced that in your healing process? Confessing and and asking for prayer from a righteous person.
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah. So the healing process is slow. It is and and I think that’s also important for women and men. I say that, I say men i include men because I’ve met a lot of men who have had abortions and they are just as broken, if not more than other than women. It’s different and it’s slow. It’s not. It’s not a quick fix. It can take a lifetime to heal, but I know that I am better today than I was yesterday. And I know that each time that I take a step forward, I I’m strengthened. I’m encouraged by the truth that’s in the word that God is able to restore us, to heal us, and to use us if we let him. So again, it’s it’s coming to that place of allowing God to use your experiences and that helps me to heal when I share my story, when I share the truth about the abortions and and what happens and what it does with other men and women.
Jacob Barr :
Have you experienced like what maybe a pastor at your church or maybe an elder or someone that you trust or yeah, what has that been like if when they if you asked for prayer from people who you think would be, you know, someone who would be considered someone who speaks to God regularly or or prays often?
Denise Venturini-South :
Yeah. So I have spoken to several pastors and I I’ve been encouraged by some and others others i have left them kind of bewildered.
Jacob Barr :
And I say this tenderly because I don’t want to pass judgment or, but I think I I’m not sure if the church is ready to embrace this healing process. Yeah, How would you describe A there are many pastor. Oh, how would you describe a pastor or leader who who provided a a helpful atmosphere, But I came to that prayer.
Denise Venturini-South :
Ok, so I I I’ve spoken to my pastor about it i actually gave him my book and I I gave it to him because I wanted him to know that this is what I’m doing, this is this is a a ministry that I am embracing and I’m praying that God will open up many doors of opportunity for me to share. But I wanted him to know. Before he heard it from someone else and he read the book and he, he, he was confident that the Lord was going to use this and me on this journey to help other men and women, you know, through this. Yeah, he was very encouraging.
Jacob Barr :
Have you ever had like a small group of people who would, you know, you come together or maybe share things and get prayer from, you know, maybe just a few women or a few people? Have you ever had an experience like that?
Denise Venturini-South :
I do. I meet online with other women, they they they reach out to me through the Disgrace Undone website and we we have sessions online where we talk. I mostly listen and they talk and I also meet with a a women’s I don’t want to say crisis pregnancy, but a women’s center in Philadelphia, I meet with them in person once a month and then we do zoom meetings throughout the month to share with either abortion, abortion minded women or post abortive women just just to try to help them so yes, I’ve been active in that as well.
Jacob Barr :
So with this being a long journey towards healing, what have you seen as being helpful towards, you know, going down this, you know, you know, long road, what what, what have you, you know, how how would you describe what’s been helpful along, you know, trying to find more healing?
Denise Venturini-South :
I I just recently said this this one comment again is that if? If we hold on to the dark areas in our life, then they own us. But once we expose them to the light, then we own them. And that’s very important. That’s that’s that’s the moment where we begin to take authority over the enemy. So you mentioned something earlier. I I forgot what it was i didn’t want to interrupt you, but the enemy gives us the impression that the baby inside of our womb is not a human being. And as you said before, what you said was we are the we are created in God’s image and. Satan doesn’t like that, so if he can get that out of the way, then that’s one lamb. That’s one less God image bearer that he has to deal with or that he wants to deal with. And his aim, we know, is to kill and to maim and to destroy. So we shouldn’t be surprised that his aim is to do that in the womb. And when he can confuse in a woman’s mind the fact that this is a living human being as versus a a group of cells or whatever, then then he he he wins the battle. So that’s why it’s so important that we who have this knowledge experience compassion, empathy, that we speak up, that we share this.
Jacob Barr :
And yeah, so I want to I want to actually read a few verses before the verse 16, so verse 13, So James five thirteen says, is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. And then verse 14, is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And then verse 15 and prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well. The Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned they will be forgiven. And then verse 16 that we are more I’m I’m very familiar with. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. So I’m curious if you’ve tried not just calling your elders or or yeah, the elders of your church to pray, but if you if you ever had them anoint you with oil have you ever had that experience yet?
Denise Venturini-South :
Yes, I’ve been anointed with oil in in my first experience with talking about my abortion wasn’t in a church. I was actually in a retreat. Setting and through the retreat setting I there I was anointed with oil and I I was prayed over and I was actually introduced to the to the scripture that says confess your sin. So believe it or not, there are a lot of women in the church and outside of the church who do not recognize abortion as sin. They don’t recognize it as sin. They recognize it as choice, not as sin. So without getting, without going down that rabbit trail, you know, bringing to light the fact that it is a sin and they need to recognize that and acknowledge it and be accountable for it and then come before God and confess. That sin, so that the healing process can begin. So that’s where I start. When I’m with women and I’m talking with women and sharing biblical guidance with women, I’m always, I’m always careful to bring this up early on in the in the conversation. Because the sooner we can get that a cracked, the sooner we can get the light in and then the sooner the healing can begin. We don’t want to start at the back end we want to start from the beginning and and the beginning is repentance. You know the Bible says confess your sins, repent and you will be forgiven, right?
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what are your final thoughts that you would like to share maybe? So the audience of this podcast would include Executive Directors of Prancy Clinic’s leadership teams, many of which have had similar experiences to what you have gone through and hopefully most have are on their journey of you know, finding healing or in the process of finding healing. What are your final thoughts for those who are listening?
Denise Venturini-South :
Well. I believe that God is is calling us out. That God is calling women and men who have experienced abortion, even if not physically, just through the industry itself, doctors, nurses, calling us to speak up to be the voice for the voiceless. And he’s asking us to do this during these end times because his heart is that. He’s long-suffering He knows that someday the fount the faucet of mercy will be turned off. And he’s long-suffering that many will come to repentance many will come to know him through repentance. But we’ve got to shine our light bright and sometimes shining our light bright may mean that we need to share the dark side of our story, and that’s scary sometimes, so the more people that are. Are able and willing to share their story. The better, the stronger we will be, the the brighter we will be. And we will be able to to, you know, deliver this message of hope and healing through God.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah and I’d I’d like to echo that The importance of when one person shares, it invites everyone else in that group to feel, to feel like it’s a safe place for them to share as well and so I think it’s really good for when someone goes first, like that’s a leadership role that’s inviting others to follow in that same really healthy decision of sharing as well with their own story that has because we all have brokenness and when someone shares, we’re inviting others to also share and so it’s not just good for the person who’s sharing, it’s good for those who are hearing.
Denise Venturini-South :
Absolutely so I would really like to see a a pro-life not so much a pro-life rally. I would like to see men and women who have experienced abortion get together and share their experiences on a major platform. The way we the way we hear the pro-choice people. Share their point of view on a public platform. I would like to see this on a public platform. I would like for us to make manifest the manifold wisdom of God to the principalities and the powers that are in the air, not only through our churches, not only through our small groups, but on a major platform, whether that’s through Zoom, whether that’s through. You know, meeting in person. But that’s what I would like to see happen. I would like to see our voices, those who have healed, those who have come out of the dark and into the marvelous light, to be able to shine that light on a platform. You know, God says, don’t hide your light under a basket. Go up to where? Go up to the top of the hill and shine your light. Well, this is the light that I have to shine, so I really would like to see us do that.
Jacob Barr :
So I want to share. This is also tied to Alan Parker and I seem to know his story well because I did a three hour interview with him about 3 weeks ago. So all I have to say is, but he’s yeah, he has several things that are connecting here and this, this last one is Operation Outcry. So it’s Operation outcry.org and essentially it’s a place for someone to share their pain of abortion in a way that can be submitted to a court to try and say abortion needs to be outlawed because it is hurting those who have experienced it. And and I believe they actually submitted affidavits to the Supreme Court during the Dobbs decision because of this outcry, you know, operation outcry collection, collecting of stories. And and so anyone who has their story, you can submit it to operationoutcry.org And it can be used to influence our country in a Yeah. And essentially yeah alan Parker is such a kind, smart, intelligent. He is so passionate about what he is, you know, serving Jesus he is he. I had the pleasure of flying with him on an airplane because we happen to both be taking the same leg of an airplane from one conference to the connecting hub. And so I spent about two hours, maybe 2 and a half hours. With him yeah. He was just always so nice to talk to you and I got that pleasure of sitting next to him. And it’s just, you know, I would just like to say that God seems to, you know, provide some really nice opportunities to talk to people sometimes and I would just like to promote the fact that he is really humbly and kindly in a very kind and gentle way, being a strong force for the unborn. You know the the voice, you know the being a voice for the voiceless by collecting stories of people who have been hurt so that they can be shared in a way that can be impactful on our country. So yeah, I just think that’s really, I don’t know why Alan Parker keeps coming up in our conversation here, but everything you’re talking.
Denise Venturini-South :
About it’s a God thing yeah. Yeah, it’s it’s a God.
Jacob Barr :
That’s good.
Denise Venturini-South :
I certainly will. I’ll reach out. Yes, absolutely yeah.
Jacob Barr :
Yeah, well, Denise, would you? So when you pray at the end of this podcast, which I’m going to ask you to do, if when you pray, I want you to think when someone listens that we have you know together we have the expectation that they will join you and cry out to God with this prayer. So every time it gets listened to on a podcast, you know the the goal you know, you know for the person that’s listening our expectation is that you will be praying alongside Denise just like I am, and that we will together cry out to God X times you know the to the NTH time as each person will join in this prayer asking for God to bring good things and healing and and help to our country and friends and family mm hmm, so.
Denise Venturini-South :
Well, I certainly can. I certainly can do that. So in in Psalm one twenty, six father god, we’re we’re told that that although we go out crying. That we will gather our sheaves and come back in joy. And Lord God, I thank you that you are the God of second chances you are the God that continually draws us near to you. You never grow weary in drawing us to yourself. And Father God, I am grateful and thankful that you did not give up on me, but yet from the. From before the foundations of the world, you had a plan. You had a work for that you prepared for me, and you gave me the grace and the mercy to get to this place now, Lord and I pray, I pray for other men and women who are hurting, who are sitting in silence and in darkness. That are surrounded by the pain and the shame and the uncertainty of their journey and not knowing where to go, That they would just reach out to you. That they would acknowledge their sin, and that they would feel the overwhelming sense of love and forgiveness that only you know how to share. And that they can begin now to walk in newness of life. Lord, I thank you for people like Jacob, and for mister parker and probably so many others who are working hard to provide opportunities to share this light, to share your light, to share your love. And I pray, Father God, that we would come together strong, united in you and through you, and that together, Lord, we would just March in victory in this. Lord, just thank you again for allowing me to be a part of this work. And I pray, Lord, for all those who are listening, that they too would just just trust you, just trust you God to reach out and to take hold of your hand and begin their journey. In Jesus name I pray amen.
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