Finding Forgiveness and Healing: A Journey of Redemption

Transcript

The transcript was automatically generated and may contain errors.

Jacob Barr :

Welcome to the pro-life Team Podcast. I’m here with Jeannie and we’re going to look at her story, her story of going from running an abortion clinic to to running a pregnancy clinic. So welcome, Jeannie. Hi, how are you doing well, please introduce yourself the way you would to a I’m a clinic director, a pregnancy clinic director how it maybe tell your back story and then we’ll go into your your life, your journey story.

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, I’m Jeannie Pernia. I currently live here in Miami, florida. I’m currently working with Passion Life Ministries, which is a ministry that goes actually to the neediest places in the world where abortion. Is highest ranked, but that’s not where I started. So I look forward to sharing what God can do with a broken vessel. When you give your heart and your life to the Lord, how he can redirect and just restore, restore what the enemy wanted for bad. That’s my Psalm, Psalm 5020 to what the what the Lord can do it for good.

Jacob Barr :

Awesome so so tell us the story you know of, You know, how you were you know, maybe we start at the beginning when it comes to, you know, running an abortion clinic. You know what how did that begin and what? How did that journey look like?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, I’m originally from New York City. My parents, my father’s Irish my mom’s family was from Puerto Rico. And they got married very young and due to that inexperience and not knowing things of the Lord, they got divorced and so as a my mom was a single parent of four kids, she always had me very close to her and and she was involved in the medical field in New York City she ran clinics, regular Medical Center clinics, you know, And then when I became a teenager here in Miami. With the experience I had acquired working in these clinics, I started working in a what I thought was just a woman’s center. This was back in nineteen seventy six seventy seven and I was working in in an abortion center. When I got the job, I was just the receptionist i really didn’t know that they did abortions they didn’t share that with me right off. And I worked there for about two weeks and then I was involved in an auto accident. And at that time my mom came to Miami and she started working there and she got the job that I left and she learned the whole business and because she was very business savvy, she realized that she could actually run. A business like this, so we found the busiest corner in a very active city which is called Hialeah. This was back in the in mid seventies about nineteen, seventy seven, and she found the busiest corner and we opened up what was then called Hialeah Medical Center for Women. We were not going to church actually my mom was raised Catholic, and because she was divorced, she felt that she was divorced from the church as well so she had been married twice her second marriage was to my stepdad, who was Cuban. So we were really involved in a lot of other types of religious activities within that Cuban culture. And So what happened was that, as you would know. Dealing in issues of abortion, she was always having problems and I felt it in my heart that she needed a partner, someone who could come alongside of her with the responsibility. And so I started dating an older man who I had met i was in my second year of college, I was 20 years old and I started this relationship and this gentleman also was interested in getting involved in medical businesses, so. To me it was perfect, right we had a a strong relationship and he was interested in investing in the in the clinic. So what ended up happening was I was sexually active. I’d been sexually active for a couple of years and for so many women where I can identify, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to have children it’s like, no, I don’t think kids are for me and I doubt I’ll ever get pregnant and within eight months. Within the relationship, I got pregnant and I was ecstatic. I was happy i thought everything was going to work i thought this was the excellent time. And when I went to share the news, he didn’t feel the same way as I did. On the contrary, he clearly told me we’re not ready to have a family we just started this business and we have the business. And I remember that moment was so tragic for me because I looked at him and I said, you know, that clinic is there for women who don’t want their babies that’s not my story. I want my baby. And from that moment, for two weeks, we went back and forth, back and forth. And I did approach a few people, but it was like everybody thought that it wasn’t the right time. And my mom, she really didn’t like him for me. And so she says, honey, you know, I’ll support you, but, you know, you really need to think about it. And that was enough for me to immediately at that moment, my first thought was, how do I psychologically make myself believe that what they’re saying is true and what I’m thinking is not right? And sure enough, the psyche went to work and I thought, I’m not eating, I’m not sleeping. I’m crying every day. This baby is not going to be healthy, and that’s what led me two weeks on a Sunday morning when I knew nobody would be there to include my mom, I made the decision to abort my baby my first child’s right there in that business, and I came out of there and I remember clearly that all I could think about was wanting to be pregnant again. Because that’s what we do we wanted those that want their babies are already thinking about how do I replace this pregnancy? And guess what? God answered my prayer right away because I stayed in the relationship and within two weeks I was pregnant again. Actually within eight weeks. And this time I was happy. I told my mom, Listen, this is our secret. I am not going to abort this baby no matter what. And so it went. And sure enough, when it was I was in my fourth month my mom says it’s time to. It’s time to let the cat out of the bag. And we did. And immediately I was accused and you know, this wasn’t what you’re supposed to do and well, seven months later, my beautiful baby girl Sharissa was born. We severed the relationship along with the business relationship, and my mom sold her part and opened up another another clinic that’s what she did. And then she started doing plastic surgery and that had a very tragic ending in itself but just to stay on the story, I Within a year I met another man who had just come from Cuba, and he fell in love with my little girl. And that’s what it took. So we got married we had two more kids, and because we weren’t serving the Lord, the relationship was also crumbling. But that’s what led me to seek the Lord. The Lord put a woman. I always share my bank story. A woman on a bank line saw my despair, and she asked me if I wanted to have her come and pray for me. And at that time I was at the end of my rope i had three children. My marriage was totally going downhill, and I accepted Christ and he revolutionarily turned my life around from that moment on and I was in New York City. It was a long, it was a long haul it was actually 27 years. It took from that moment to come back to the same city. Where I had had that abortion business, I don’t call it a clinic because clinics is for health. This was a business and I was a church, and I had moved back to Miami just a year when, as God would have it, Reverend John Ensor, who is the CEO for Passion Life, walked into my church and started talking about abortion. I hadn’t heard the word again i had not visited that word. But at that moment he started to shoot out statistics in the city where we had had this business. He said there were seven abortion businesses in the city of Hialeah, and he had come here from Boston because Miami-Dade County was the highest in abortion and abortion providers in the nation and this was back in 2006 And so sure enough, when I heard this, my first, my first desire was to get up and run out of the church. But I kept thinking, why is he talking about this in church? And then I couldn’t help but walk out after I had heard someone share their testimony and everything that I had pressed down started to bubble up and. The girl who had shared her testimony was actually a close friend of mine by now. So I walked out and he says that I looked at him and said, OK, I need to know how I can help you stop what I started. And from that moment on, I was the one who was asked to go and find a building that we could bring a true pregnancy center to. And sure enough, I went back to that corner that I had not visited in 27 years. And when I parked at the building, I looked and next door to the left there was a little house that I remember that said four lease. And I’m like, what here god. And he said yes. So on July ninth two thousand and, seven Martha Avila. Who is the president of Heartbeat of Miami reverend John Ansar and Jeannie Pernia started the first of four pregnancy health clinics here in South Florida. But the kicker is we were next door and it was a small house. And sure enough, that women started coming looking for abortion because. That often happens that if there’s been an abortion in any certain area, it’s almost like there’s a spirit of death in that area and the women go back there looking to see if there is still a place where they can abort their child. So now here I was pointing to the building when they would come in and I would share my testimony. I would say I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I do need to tell you what happened to me. And I want you to know that I’m going to give you the options that I never got. You’re going to make the decision. And after six years of being next door, I told Martha, you know what, I want to pray to be back in the building. And that was a very, very difficult step but we did. It became empty. The owners of that building were the same owners of the building that we were renting. And we had the opportunity to go back to the very same building where thousands of babies to include my child had died to bring life saving help in a life changing way to this community And it we went on to North Miami, we went on to Kendall, we went on to Flagler and Flagler we had the same opportunity. To take over a building that had been an abortion business, to be a pregnancy center. And I want you to know that I think that we’re all born with the desire to find out what we were created for. And I thank God because I know why I was created. And what happened was in 2017 what was it 10 years after 10 years of serving in heartbeat of Miami. As Co founder and as the center director, I had the opportunity to have Reverenancer come back around and say how do you feel about going and sharing your testimony worldwide? And I said sign me up. And so by the grace of God I’ve travelled to many countries. I’m working actively right now in Colombia, in Cuba, Santo Domingo. Also China, Vietnam, we are hitting those areas where they need to know the truth of the gospel because that’s the entry point. We have found that it is in the in the midst of the crisis that you have the opportunity to share the gospel. And it’s a life changing event that not only do you help save the baby, but you help save the Mama. And so here I am, back where it all began and bringing life saving help in just an amazing way alongside with Martha and the pregnancy help workers helping women know that there is other options, that abortion is not the answer, it’s never the answer. And also I need to make sure that you know everyone understands that. I also help in restoring the heart it’s the after abortion study that I had to go through because yes, you know, I I knew the Lord by the time I was back and and and I had given my heart to him and everything that was with it. But guess what? There was a brokenness inside of me that I didn’t want to deal with. And it wasn’t until I really got the healing specifically. For the abortion that I was able to really take off my mask and and really now walk in the healing and in the forgiveness that I needed to be able to honestly be able to be present for those women that need it. So I also do that.

Jacob Barr :

So what were the what were the steps that you took to to find your healing and then what are you know, How are you what what are the steps that you’re encouraging other women to take to find their healing?

Jeanne Pernia :

Yes. If a woman has had an abortion or has been involved in the abortion businesses, it’s very important. Regardless, I understand that we have a wound. And that wound is not healed until you’re able to open your heart up to the Lord and have the Holy Spirit come and cleanse it and is it painful yes. I often times say it’s like a root canal. You know, you got to get that, that nerve out of there. But once it’s healed, you’re going to have a scar, but it’s just not going to hurt anymore. And I understand there are many women, Jason, that just cannot face that. And they think that they’re going to face it by themselves, but they don’t have to, because that’s why the Lord sent the Holy Spirit. He walks through it with us. And it is vitally important to understand that for you to be present in the life of a woman who is seeking an abortion or is seeking, you need to be healed from what you’ve experienced, because every time you see her. You’re always gonna go trying to, trying to save yourself. And we know that it is everybody’s personal decision. So once you’re healed, you’re able to walk into her crisis and let her know that you are there for her. But she is ultimately going to be the one making that decision. And I would say that from the moment that I was born. God had this plan because I am fluent in Spanish had she not married my stepdad and moved to Miami, I would have never spoke in Spanish.

Jacob Barr :

And that I I really work with many many Central South American and Caribbean women Wow. So so and and then the with the with heartbeat Miami I with five clinics and such A and such a abortion. Well the number of abortion clinics in that county being so overwhelming it just seems like a daunting amount of there’s a lot of work and opportunity to make a difference. What’s it like working in such a, you know, with so many abortion clinics in your county?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, there’s a lot of work to be done and we need a lot of volunteers. You know, that’s how we can make it happen because obviously we don’t have the millions of dollars that Planned Parenthood has that private clinics have. But this is where I want to be. I want to be where these women are. Because what a woman that’s facing a crisis pregnancy, what she needs is someone who’s going to come alongside of her. Just like the Samaritan, The Good Samaritan. And be there that’s what I needed. That’s what I didn’t get. And so I would say that thank God that a lot of things are changing and we are trusting that we will have the opportunity to speak to more women. And you know when you impact one life? And one woman, she’s there, she is going to impact her whole circle and her whole family. And that’s how we are able to rescue one woman at a time in a pregnancy health clinic or in a pregnancy health ministry. I mean, Martha and I, we’ve talked to women in the coffee shop, in the supermarket. You know, it’s great to have a clinic, but in Cuba, our ministry, the leaders that I have there, they go house to house. They have a handheld ultra cell machine and they’re able to put that ultra machine up on her belly and you know and and they’re saving lives. So you know it doesn’t have to be in four walls of course it’s it’s always best. But know that all you need is the heart to be prepared. And you know, we we do have a lot of material. passionlife.org has everything available to be trained to understand you know what you’re calling is, so know that that is available if this is if you feel that this is your calling.

Jacob Barr :

So Speaking of passion life the when you’re speaking with the women in Columbia or in China and these other other countries, what message are you working with or is it unique per country or is it a common? Message or sharing across those different countries?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, we go to teach the four questions that Reverend John Ansar has put together, making it very simple. And we speak to pastors like he did in my church. And leaders, women, you know, women leaders. And it’s basically, you know, what does the Bible say about life, including the life in the womb? What does the word of God say about the shedding of innocent blood? What does, what does the word of God say about bringing grace and forgiveness to women who have had abortions as and that’s kind of my my question is question 3 and number four it says what does the word of God call us to do to be able to provide help. And so we go and we teach these four questions, which Reverend John started in China with the underground church. And before you knew it, the pastors there were just so taken back with a country like China you know, when they had had that one child policy, they wanted to know more about the word of God. And so that’s what we do and every country, you know, we set it out there for them and they work it however they feel led to do it. We give them the tools, but ultimately they know their people, they know their areas. You know, we are on Monday, no Sunday we’re taking off to Columbia with a three city tour and it’s just bringing pastors together and teaching them for them to teach. But that’s what we do we teach the pastors and we want the pastors to teach other pastors and the people from their church. What does the word of God say? And that’s how we make that work and then often times there are women that are going to stand out, come back later and say I had an abortion and I don’t know how to deal with it. And then I have the opportunity to take them through the Bible, study in a retreat, a weekend. We, you know, we get ready, we pray with them and we lead them into their healing. And those are the women that later want to serve in the ministry and bring the good news to women who are facing crisis, crisis, pregnancy. I mean, we go just full circle. So with the with the countries that you’re the other countries, are they if you’re actually flying to Colombia, that’s correct.

Jacob Barr :

Do you usually connect over the phone or through zoom other than the in person or how do you actually reach all these different groups and pastors?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, we have leaders there that bring the pastors together and it’s been very difficult obviously with, you know, we’ve actually not really been able to do many with COVID. We have done some things on Zoom, but we’re happy to hear that they’re allowing us to go to Columbia. We’ve got like 192 pastors already registered and three cities to come and hear what God has to say about abortion. So yeah, we fly ourselves in, we cover our own expenses and and you know, we what and one important thing also I want to share is that 92 % of abortions are performed outside of the United States. And that’s something that a lot of people are not aware of, although most of the monies, you know, are stay here in the United States to help. But there are a lot of people who are interested in missions and those are the people that we are serving.

Jacob Barr :

Ok, so. So when it comes to the message that you’re delivering to the pastors in other countries versus the message that might be delivered to a pastor here in the US, have you found that the pastors in the US are also interested or or willing to hear how how would you compare that to the, you know, to the response or the interest of the pastors overseas?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, what we’re doing now is passion life also has just begun a ministry within the United States that’s called, it’s called Essentials. And the Essentials training is bringing that same information to the pastors here through the pregnancy centers. So we have some new staff on board that is actually bringing this word of of the four questions and the teaching to the different centers through their their pastors. So that’s what I mean that’s how it works. You know you we can help these women and get them to understand the importance of life, but we need the pastors to disciple them. So it’s a teamwork between the church and the pregnancy centers to be able to really, you know, come alongside of them and help them. And before you know it, it’s not just the mommy and the baby, It’s the dad and it’s the family and everybody’s getting involved. But yes, I believe that more and more pastors here in the US are now understanding especially, I mean you know the issue of pro-life now is just everywhere in the United States and and what’s happening. So they’re they are getting involved and we do have that Essentials program growing and anybody who would be interested in that just needs to go to passionlife.org and all of the information is available if there’s someone who’s interested in having John or Mark Nicholson, who is the our director, come and provide that training, they are here also to provide that.

Jacob Barr :

So when a when a church becomes when when after the church goes to this this training, specialized, specialized training, what’s the result that the church is like what’s the what do you hope or find that the churches are doing next?

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, a lot of times that’s when you’ll find men and women that will step out and say I didn’t know that, I didn’t know that the Bible said that. And then often times they we we try to get one person who is a liaison with the pregnancy center where this person can go you know, we highly we we want to make sure that everything is confidential. And so they are referred to. Either someone at the pregnancy center or the pastor will contact us and offer that person the help that they need. But you know, basically what we want is the pastors to share with other pastors to bring the conversation to the church because if you think about it, that’s where I got it. You know, had Reverend John answer not taking the step and talked about this at my church, I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this, let alone receive the healing that is so important in regards to having had an an abortion pass.

Jacob Barr :

And that’s a really good story of how of your of how it helped bring you into that space of healing and now you’re instrumental in, in reaching more women with this, you know, good news, the gospel and and hope and healing and restoration.

Jeanne Pernia :

Yeah and you know, if anyone really, I mean, it’s an amazing story i call it my God story. And the the cute thing about this is, is that daughter that I had on my own her name is Charisa Jerez, she actually is a writer and she wrote the story it’s called Conquered and it’s on Amazon. But to know that the first person that was actually saved in that building turns around and writes a story of how it all came around isn’t.

Jacob Barr :

That amazing.

Jeanne Pernia :

That’s amazing wow yeah.

Jacob Barr :

So if you were speaking, you know the main audience for this podcast is a Prancy clinic director or pro-life Prancy clinic leadership. In knowing that, what would you want them to hear from your story or from what you’re sharing when it comes to having get you through churches or how to engage with? Post abortion healing, which aspect could you want them to really resonate and hear out of this?

Jeanne Pernia :

I guess for me, receiving that woman at that pregnancy health clinic, that first contact with her, the importance of knowing that this young lady has an opportunity to possibly choose life for them, to understand that it’s all about how you lay it out you know, how you are transparent with her. How you can help her understand that you know that her life is important, that you’re there for her. Because often times they’re not thinking, you know, you just can’t zoom in on the baby, you know? Often times it’s the baby that helps save the mom. But helping her understand in regards to the conversation about the importance of having the ultrasound, you know, those first questions are so vital, so important. And knowing that you could have someone, you know, who worked in an abortion business and now she’s in your center and she’s looking for an abortion and she’s got all of this guilt, all of the shame. You know, you need to be Jesus for her in that moment and just love her just the way she is. I find that by just being honest and letting her know that you care. Like I I tell when I do the training here at the clinic, I tell the girls when we bring them in, we draw this beautiful picture for them. But then guess what they got to go back to their reality. And if you told them that you’re going to follow up with them, you have to call them back. Because once she walks out and she has to face her reality, that might be a boyfriend that says what did you know what did they tell you? You know, that wasn’t where you were supposed to go and and then all of a sudden she feels right back where she was at but if you call her and you tell her, listen, how are you today you know, can you come back? Maybe you may want to bring him. We have we can do a second ultrasound for you. You know, let her know that you are there. Because there’s one thing I learned from Reverend Ansar and he says there’s only one savior and we’re not it. But we are his voice. We are His hands. You know we are all that he had deposited in US. And as far as the post abortion woman, well that that that believe it or not that is for me it’s harder to get to the post abort of woman than to help a woman make a decision for life. Because the the the woman who has had an abortion, it’s only the love of Christ. It’s only being just as transparent and letting her know. And it’s God’s timing. You know, I have people very close to me that will not discuss their abortion even though I know that they’ve had an abortion they’re not ready. So for that person, you just have to let them know that you’re there with, you know, no condemnation. You’re there to love them and to share. And so that’s that’s my heart.

Jacob Barr :

So with Passion Life, do you feel as if, pastors? Are being equipped to to address the, the, the, the, you know, the abortion healing needed in their congregations is that something that they’re being equipped to to help with or are they redirecting people to a pregnancy clinic group? You know what, what are the options for a a church when it comes to helping their church, their church body?

Jeanne Pernia :

Yeah, it it is important to have maybe one or two people that are in the church that feel led to lead that type of of work because, yeah, obviously for the men, although there are many, many men that are now asking for help and I think that this type of the ministry, it should be men addressing men and women addressing women. You know, although, I mean, it doesn’t mean that you, a woman, can’t help a man in this issue but I would say, yeah, I mean the pastors are happy to be able to be equipped to know what the word of God says. And then they’re convicted in their hearts i mean, it happened to, you know, Reverend Answers own personal testimony was that as a pastor, he was a pastor in Boston. There were women that and men that stood up when he decided to speak on abortion just on a, you know, on a on the weekend in January. Oh, my, I’m sorry, hold on. Are you there?

Jacob Barr :

I’m sorry.

Jeanne Pernia :

And and you know, he felt that he had blood on his hands because there were congregants who had had an abortion while he was their pastor. So he himself had to come and ask God for forgiveness. And then he felt the the, the calling and the anointing of starting pregnancy centers in Boston. And he started, I believe six of them and before he came to Miami. So I think that, you know, every pastor needs this teaching because it is going to. That’s what the Lord has called us to the broken hearted, you know and there’s so I mean think about it you know it’s I think it’s goodness, I forgot even my three and every five women have had an abortion i mean, it’s astronomical, right between the ages that they could have babies. So where are these women many of them are sitting in the pews they’re in the church. And you know, and and and like I say and and many people know that I do. I’ve done a study where I call it our mask. From the moment you have that abortion, you put on that mask because you can’t even look at yourself. And so you get comfortable with that mask and that mask is what identifies you. But when you’re able to come before the Lord and he removes that veil and he takes away all of that, you know, guilt and shame, then you’re able to be who you were called to be. And that’s why I believe that it’s so important for a woman you know, I get it yes, God forgave you, but what about you? Have you forgiven yourself do you understand that there is a deeper, specific sin that we need to confess and we need to be forgiven and we need to figure ourselves for?

Jacob Barr :

Yeah, that’s good. So this is yeah, I really appreciate you sharing all these stories and and and I hope that pastors will hear this and and pursue pursue these you know these educational Bible based pieces that Passion Life is providing. And that an executive directors and Prancy clinic leadership team can also connect their churches that they’re looking to connect with, with these same pieces we often talk about in the Prancy clinic movement movement, how we need to be more connected with churches. But really, it sounds like what you’re saying is that churches really need to be more connected with this abortion healing topic, with what God says about it and. Because essentially it allows for people to find healing, restoration in order to fulfill what God’s calling them to do and to be. And that mask is getting in the way as like a as a burden or a hurdle or it’s something in the way of of being open to what God is saying in there you know what God is saying with this still small voice that that mask is blocking or distracting from that still small voice that God. God uses to to speak to us.

Jeanne Pernia :

Amen, Amen.

Jacob Barr :

Well, thank you, Jeannie for your time and I will. Yeah, I’m, I’m looking forward to sharing this with some some pastors and executive directors and getting the story out there. Thank you.

Jeanne Pernia :

Well, you hop online and and check out passionlife.org and if there’s anything that you need, you can always contact me and I look forward to to hearing more about all that you’re doing yeah.

Jacob Barr :

We actually, we had John Ensor on here a few a few months ago and he was talking about when things are when things are worth doing, they’re worth doing poorly and his idea was just get started.

Jeanne Pernia :

You don’t have to be the best at what you’re doing, but.

Jacob Barr :

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing, you know, even though you’re going to the learning curve. And so that was one of the things we talked about was. You know, pro-life work is so worth doing, it’s worth doing even if it comes across with mistakes. And so we need to keep going even regardless of mistakes and things like that.

Jeanne Pernia :

So sounds like him.

Jacob Barr :

Yep yep.